The Fiver | Drastic action for football is probably the best course of drastic action

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There’s only one more sleep until The Fiver’s festive awards! But who are we kidding? Let’s face facts, Christmas is already banjaxed, you only have to take one look at the prime minister’s glaikit boat to realise that. Having already got to the point where renowned socialist-state firebrand Elizabeth Alexandra Mary of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha has taken the advice of an “unelected Covid public health spokesperson” and shelved plans for a festive family get-together, we’re fast approaching a place where fun might have to be parked for an indefinite period in order to rein in this damn virus. Don’t shoot the messenger, but this could be 2020-21 all over again.

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