4 Keys to Making a Relationship Work: John and Julie Gottman's core ideas plus my yes-ands and yes-buts.

John and Julie Gottman have studied, with unusual rigor and for 40+ years now, what makes relationships work. Their findings are summarized in the book Eight Dates. That refers to regularly scheduled meetings in which the couple talks respectfully about big issues: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. A few of my clients, as well as my wife and I have done some variant of the eight dates, and we all feel it's been worthwhile. 

The book also emphasizes other keys to a successful relationship. I describe them plus my yes-ands and yes-buts in my Psychology Today article today.