Venom and the Knitter
So, Venom (1 and 2) is one of my favorite parts of the Marvel franchise. It deals with a lesser known character, the cast is small but stellar, the budget is limited so the action sequences are short but meaningful, and there is something about the dialog between Venom, the ultimate id, and his fragile superego, Eddie, that gets to me. Like really resonates. Like... like....like I've really been there or something. Like maybe Eddie and me have something in common.
Amy: *tremulously* Hello. Uhm, I'm Amy. And I have too much yarn.
MERINO (a giant monster made of expanding and contracting all wool fiber filaments that have merged with Amy's nerve endings and conscious thought): AND IF YOU TRY TO TAKE IT FROM ME I'LL CUT A BITCH.
Amy: No, Merino-- that's not true! The yarn problem here it's overwhelming-- people need a place to sit--
MERINO: THEY CAN KNIT THEIR OWN SEAT CUSHIONS IN HELL!
Amy: No! No! We have to clear a spot here--we need room for a Christmas tree!
MERINO: WILL PEOPLE BUY YARN FOR ME???????
Amy: We don't need anymore yarn!
MERINO: ALWAYS NEED MORE YARN!
Amy: We have other interests--books--
MERINO: AUDIOBOOKS ON YOUR PHONE SO YOU CAN KNIT WHILE LISTENING!!! YES!
Amy: Family--
MERINO: FAMILY TO KNIT FOR!
Amy: They can't live on yarn alone--
MERINO: PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY AND YARN!
Amy: And we like the dogs--
MERINO: WE HATE THE DOGS! THEY WON'T LET US KNIT!
Amy: We knit around the dogs--
MERINO: WE WILL EAT THE DOGS! EAT THE DOGS, BUY THE YARN! EVERYBODY'S HAPPY!
Amy: Except the dogs, you psychopath!
MERINO: YOU CAN'T KNIT WHILE WALKING THE DOGS!!!
Amy: Well, some people knit socks while walking--
MERINO: KNIT A SACK TO CARRY THE DOGS IN!
Amy: Tempting, but no
MERINO: TIME TO KNIT!
Amy: We were going to take a nap--
MERINO: KNIT OR WE EAT THE DOGS.
Amy: Remember life before you were a part of me?
MERINO: NO. IT HAD NO MEANING. NOW KNIT!
Amy: Uhm, my name is Amy and... uhm... I have a yarn--uhm, passion. Not problem. Passion. It's all good. Just, uhm, move the yarn bags to sit. Uhm... Christmas is canceled this year. EVERYBODY OUT OF THE FRONT ROOM SO I CAN WATCH NCIS AND KNIT A SWEATER FOR THE HOUSE!
MERINO: DAMN. THAT BITCH IS HARDCORE.
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This is me, only I have cats. We are not eating the cats.
Robin wrote: "This is me, only I have cats. We are not eating the cats."LOL-- we have cats too--but they know how to steer clear of the yarn ;-)
MERINO: YOU WILL CONTACT MARVEL IMMEDIATELY AND CONVINCE THEM TO MAKE A NEW MOVIE. IT SHALL BE KNOWN ASMERINO: ATTACK ON GRANBY
But... little does MERINO know that Granby has a secret weapon: the Ghey Knitters and the Angora Bunnies OF DEATH. 🐇🐇🐇And they shall summon MERINO's ultimate nemesis... THE CLOTHES MOTHMAN.
MUWAHAHAHA!!
Librarian wrote: "MERINO: YOU WILL CONTACT MARVEL IMMEDIATELY AND CONVINCE THEM TO MAKE A NEW MOVIE. IT SHALL BE KNOWN ASMERINO: ATTACK ON GRANBY"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- oh I wish!!! EPIC! That would be EPIC!
Librarian wrote: "But... little does MERINO know that Granby has a secret weapon: the Ghey Knitters and the Angora Bunnies OF DEATH. 🐇🐇🐇And they shall summon MERINO's ultimate nemesis... THE CLOTHES MOTHMAN.
MUWA..."
I'd run for my life but I'm wearing a super thick sweater and it's raining and I'm all weighted down... help, Merino, SAVE ME!
Librarian wrote: "But... little does MERINO know that Granby has a secret weapon: the Ghey Knitters and the Angora Bunnies OF DEATH. 🐇🐇🐇And they shall summon MERINO's ultimate nemesis... THE CLOTHES MOTHMAN.
MUWA..."
The Ghey Knitters of Granby. I can't wait!
