Word of the Week #297:

Bereft

You know, I have been thinking a lot about grief, lately.

More than anything, my mind goes to the concept of “Five Stages of Grief”.

Basically, it is the model that states that people experiencing grief go through these five stages in their recovery process:

DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance

While I agree that people do benefit from the framework it provides, it is far from accurate, right? Is it any based on sufficient scientific data?

I’m not going to argue if five is correct. That is somewhat moot, right?

What I disagree with more is the implication of the term “stage”. That might lead one to believe that you are expected to move from one discrete emotional state to another in your route through your recovery, but that is not true.

For one, these stages are not discrete. There can be significant overlap among these stages, and one can routinely experience them in rapid succession.

For another, there is no evidence that these “stages” are actually sequential. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many people experience them in relatively random orders, often repeating some or skipping some altogether.

If anything, one could refer to them as five ways in which grief commonly manifests itself.

Not “only” five.

Not “sequential” five.

Grief, like most emotional responses, is very personal. I doubt it can be broken down into a universal formula.

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