I’m Finally Writing in My Own Words…Well, Almost.
Photo by Thuanny Gantuss from Pexels“There Is No Greater Agony Than Bearing an Untold Story Inside You” -Maya Angelou
I’ll be honest, when I first wrote my first fictitious attempt, I didn’t expect telling a story could be so complex — and hard!
Every one of us has a story, and the way my story differs from yours is what makes it so unique and worth sharing with the world.
Yet, while all of us create stories in our heads, some are lucky to live up to their own, only a small portion of us accept them as they are, and a smaller portion of us appreciates them.
On top of all, there is this group among us that — at some point — has made it their life mission to not only experience their stories, make up some, but also create others and share them whether verbally, in the written word, or through signs, with the whole world.
Writers of all ages, this is where we have a warm “retrouvailles” (Translation: Long-awaited reunion) with storytelling, aka the heart of narrative writing.
If you too have come a long way and are struggling with your manuscript, chances are that you are not having any problems with your story but you’re learning the heart of the practice itself: Storytelling.
Storytelling problems appear when you’ve made the decision to write, you feel so in tune with your plot, you know what to say but not how to say it; something just doesn’t seem to click.
So, because I want to have the honor to read your story one day, and because I want to overcome whatever is stopping me to advance in mine, this is how I’m approaching my writing right now…
I found a pile of Autumn leaves and I decided it would make a great background for my book. Turns out, I like it better than my bookshelf.I’ve taken 4 years to realize that English—although I love the language—doesn't have all the words to deliver the human emotional complexity:If you thought that writing is the hardest part of writing a story, imagine putting into words emotions that still leave you, the writer, speechless? (pun intended).
Although I’ve already made my attempt at addressing how to write about emotions, the reality is that it demands more than expert knowledge of the wheel of emotions or perfecting our metaphors.
Sometimes, we don’t know what we feel, let alone write about how a fictional being does in a fictional setting.
Seeing my writer self was in distress, I summoned the linguist — the lexophile, in me, and I decided to look for words that convey the emotions I want in other languages. I didn’t go too far; I sought English’s older sibling: German.
…
What a gear shift, but the findings were worth it.
It took me one day to reaffirm that daily tasks are awkward to write about:I was reminded of this by an Instagram post (which -sadly- I’ve lost somewhere in the Instagram seas).
When it is just me and my story writing about my character walking, eating, or changing their angle, I experience the awkwardness two strangers do when they have to talk for the first time.
Whenever I don’t know how to make them walk, or transition from a scene to another, I picture them looking at me with blank eyes or with a relentless, fiery stare screaming for me to just write something.
So, instead of giving in to that temporary rush of dopamine from giving in to their impatience, I don’t write when I absolutely need to write a scene.
This year, I’ve learned that writing when I cannot “word” it is a sign of resistance. If I want to move on to the next scene, I give myself time to digest what happened first before I attempt to write its subsequent.
Of course, that is not ideal when we have a deadline, but as writers, we know better than to trade quality for quantity.
In 1 year, I fell in love with a new language and I let it affect my thinking about my novel:This has to be one of the milestones I’m most proud of this year.
Although I don’t doubt the impact interacting with a new language and culture has on my mindset, I didn’t expect to be so affected by how learning to express myself in German has paved a new path for me to think about life in general and my novel in particular.
Aside from the hiccups of the first days, the interest that I have developed in this language has enabled me to learn new concepts and metaphorical mental images, comparisons, and potential scenarios for my story.
I’ve expanded my network of inspiration.
Though I have to admit this is one of the perks of graduating in language, experiencing cultures through studying their language not only helped me acquire skills to learn new languages but also get some inspiration for when I feel “dry” of ideas or for when I’m seeking for novelty in my creations.
It also took me one year to accept that sometimes, feeling like an amateur is a reminder that I’m learning to tell stories before I decided to write:Finding my words.
“It sounded better in my head.” You’d catch me using this line with a friend from time to time.
Despite years of writing, my craft still has a way of giving me those distressful yet exciting jitters inside my stomach like when I have to socialize for the first time in a new environment.
In other words, sometimes, my mind goes “Amateur” mode in the middle of my writing session. And every time, it feels bitter.
Was my mind trying to sabotage me?
Yes, if I gave in to that voice.
In writing, (perhaps in real life too) it doesn’t have to be new territories for us to normalize that sometimes we cannot find our words; with so much to learn about the language of what is out of our control, we need to create new words and we need to take a step back and reformulate the whole message.
We realize the power of words, and that is why we do not take them lightly.
That is why too, in a way, storytelling is also the mother of sarcasm; Aside from the fun (and mischievous!) of making up stories without intending to lie or deceive others, what is bolder than being creative in ‘saying it like it is’ while educating them, giving them hope, love, and reminding them of the beauty of living, and of their beauty as human beings part of this cosmos?
Wishing you joyful writing in this cold weather!
Thank you,
___________________________________________________________________
[image error]I’m Finally Writing in My Own Words…Well, Almost. was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
