December 7, 2021: It’s either a tear, a detached tendon, or I might be pregnant.

Some thirteen years ago, a masseuse at the Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong predicted I would have shoulder problems when I got older.  Well, she was right.  Turns out the Mallozzis have notoriously bad shoulders and this curse has manifested itself over the past decade in the form of limited mobility, aches, pains, and the occasional sleepless night.  During my last physical, my doctor had me attempt a range of motions and, based on my shocking inflexibility, surmised I may be suffering from a torn rotator cuff.  He recommended physiotherapy and, after weeks of resistance exercises, spider-climbing walls with my fingers, and rolling a rubber ball against the sore spots, I was sent for x-rays and an ultrasound.  Which is where I was today – twisting, turning and posing while they scanned and snapped.  The ultrasound technician isn’t allowed to offer any meaningful insight into the results, so you are left to suss out potential bad news on the basis of changes in facial expressions or subtle shifts in mood.  I tried to commit to memory the various wispy images that flashed by, rushing home to cross-reference them with results I brought up on google images.  Hard to say but from the looks of things, it’s either a tear, a detached tendon, or I might be pregnant.  At one point, the technician highlighted a dark section.  “That doesn’t look good,”I prompted.  “Oh, there are a lot of these,”he noted, running the cursor over similar smaller dark sections that he hadn’t taken the trouble to highlight.

“You’re doctor will contact you in one or two days,”I was reassured, leaving me less than reassured.

And so now I wait for the results.  Fortunately, I have tomorrow’s dentist appointment and Thursday’s echocardiograph to keep my mind otherwise occupied.

Today’s Yes/No…

Insect Sour? Yes/No
Kick back after a hard day with a thirst-quenching bottle of Insect Sour https://t.co/Yofu2oQLx5 via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) December 7, 2021

Finally, lets conclude with some goodies from the Stargate vault…

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