I’ve had a change of viewpoint

In 2020, I had my very cool public meltdown posting crying videos in my car. It’s not like I didn’t know I looked stupid and my feelings were not proportional to the situation. I tried to get it under control and in the end, I just didn’t, because I felt very very bad and for whatever reason, crying in front of a camera brought me some momentary relief from that emotional distress.

One thing I want to say about that whole period: I got some very mean comments from members of a certain community, a community I have since realized was never worth feeling any sympathy for (obv aside from the very small number of people from that community I’ve befriended-there are very few exceptions to the rule).

Like…I made videos crying about the extreme physical and emotional abuse I suffered as a kid. I talked about how my mom almost beat our dog to death with a chain in front of me when I was nine and how sometimes it feels like that is STILL happening. I talked about how my mom burned my two year old sister and Mary’s skin kept peeling off until finally my mom called an ambulance and we all had to lie about what happened.

I talked about all of that, openly, for the first time (yeah, I know I haven’t shut up about it since) and was told that I have female privilege and y’all actually have it worse, because you don’t have girlfriends….It didn’t hit me right away, but that was my first “Holy shit, I’m backing the baddies” moment.

I couldn’t believe that anybody would listen to me talk about some of the most terrifying and traumatic events in my life and respond with anger that a woman dare complain about anything. They were angry that a woman had anything to suffer over, because it detracts from the whole ‘female privilege’ narrative. It made me realize, I’d been trying to defend and offer sympathy to a community of people who don’t even view me as human. Suffering is human and to act like deeply traumatic things shouldn’t bother me, because I can get laid…People who have not experienced the level of trauma that I have telling me that as long as I can have sex, there’s nothing for me to complain over. All while they complain about stupid shit, like mild bullying in middle school. For that community, male emotions are valid and serious and female emotions are all worthy of derision. Because women are not fully human to them.

There were those comments, along with one other event that really shook me up. One of them that I thought was really great used a sock puppet to mess with me. I’m still mad over that. I was just so taken aback by that. I couldn’t believe that someone I’d thought so highly of would think so little of me that they’d go out of their way to mock me and mess with me. And then when called out, “She’s not a big deal to me.” Translation: “She was entertaining to fuck with, but I’m not gonna apologize for it, because I don’t care that she’s hurt. Hurting her was the point. It was fun. I’m not sorry. I enjoyed hurting her.”

That’s all I wanted to say.

Everybody who was worried and told me I was backing the wrong horse was completely right.

And I’m sorry to everyone who had their head bitten off by me in 2019/2020, as I Literally defended a group of people who made it their mission to hurt me when I was at my most emotionally vulnerable. Said “I’m having a moment, I need to get myself under control”-he used a sock puppet to mess with my head and laughed at me for getting upset about it. Posted very raw emotionally vulnerable videos was told to shut the fuck up, because women aren’t really human so have no right to any pain or trauma.

It’s taken a while to completely digest how very wrong I was about that community.

I feel bad for lonely people.

I do not feel bad for anyone who identities with a certain i-word. Anyone who calls themselves that has adopted a plethora of despicable attitudes and women can not help them, feel compassion for them, or seek to engage in sexual or romantic relationships with them, because they are so far gone and see women as the enemy so much, that all they want to do is hurt women. They also want to keep whining that women don’t like them. If women DO like them, they hate it because it gives them less to whine about. They’ve gotten to the point that they’re so addicted to their own misery, they don’t actually want relationships with women. They want to keep whining about how they don’t have relationships with women. They like being victims. Being kind or holding any of them in high esteem will be taken as weakness. They will be cruel if you try to interact with them positively.

What’s most annoying about having come to this conclusion (finally) is that it’s exactly what they wanted from the start. They want people, and especially women, to go full anti-incel. That’s why they’re so damn mean. They want everybody to hate them, so they can whine about how everyone hates them.