8 Steps To Design Your Life Around What Matters Most To You

Sophie and I celebrating life in Portugal!

There's a chill in the air now, and depending on where you are, a few snowflakes may be gracing your yard. Here in Portugal, it is colder but not the cold I'm used to from New England, where I grew up. It's also sunny most of the time, which makes for long walks in the mornings.

2021 has been a roller coaster, hasn't it? What is for certain is that nothing is certain. And yet, we step into each new day with hopes, dreams, and goals. Don't allow uncertainty to define your life. There's a lot you can do to design your life in ways that help you thrive and grow. There will be difficult decisions, boundaries to set, and risks to have a rich and fulfilling life. No one says it's easy. But it is doable.

There are 8 steps I have followed as my own life has shifted between countries, and within my work, and as I plan for 2022. I'd like to share these with you because...they work.

1. The first step is to identify where you are and what's missing. If you don't know where your journey begins, it will be impossible to get anywhere. You have to be honest with yourself. No one will judge you in this private conversation with yourself. Don't judge yourself either. I'm gifting you my Conscious Living Assessment that you can use to review all the areas of your life and notice what needs more attention. This assessment takes time to complete. Some questions may be challenging to answer because they will be new to you. Don't overthink it. Notice where your energy flows as you answer the questions. Does it move out and expand, or does it contract? Do you find resonance in your answer or dissonance? Are you answering from an old story because you're afraid, or can you step into the unknown and use your imagination to respond? Once you identify what needs to change, you begin to envision your future, a life in alignment with what matters to you.

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2. The second step is to decide to change. You must make a firm decision that you want to change things in your life. Here is where most people get stuck. The path of least resistance is always the status quo. But comfort and security do not allow for growth. Here is where you throw yourself out of your nest, as Pema Chodron says. Make a decision, or nothing will change.

3. The third step is to commit to a new path or expand the one you are on. Commitment is what holds you steady when the winds of confusion blow or when doubt casts a cloud on your dreams. Write it down. Here is where you set boundaries around the thing you want to create. You could displease others. You may confuse some people. Those close to you may not understand. You don't have to seek anyone's approval or explain yourself. Instead, commit and focus your activities around that commitment every day.

4. The fourth step is to plan. Some people start planning first, and that is a huge mistake. Planning is only effective if you've identified what needs to change, created a vision for your future, made the decision to follow that vision, and set boundaries around your commitment. Draft a set of activities and target dates by moving backward from the date you envision being in your new way of living. Nothing is set in stone, so allow for flexibility for those unpredictable things that occur. Remember, it's more important to be moving forward, even if it is an inch or two, rather than being rigid about a completion date and sabotaging yourself with an inflexible plan.

5. The fifth step is to act. Sounds obvious, doesn't it? This is the phase where resistance appears. Suddenly doing the dishes or going to lunch becomes the invitation to avoid doing the hard work of making your life happen. As a writer, I know resistance pretty well. I just have to push through it. What keeps me going is my commitment, my promise to myself. That's why an intentional commitment is so important.

6. The sixth step is to adjust. No road ever goes completely straight. Obstacles appear out of nowhere. You may find that what you thought you wanted may not be what you want at all! As you move through this process, you may discover something else more aligned with the life you want. For example, when I was planning to leave Ecuador, I thought I was moving to Colombia. During a casual conversation with a friend, she mentioned Portugal. I had never even considered this country. After investigating a move here and matching what I discovered to my criteria, I changed my plan. So, adjust. Recalibrate. And keep moving.

7. The seventh step is to execute. It's time to make your plan happen. By now, you have a network of support, and you have data, information, and knowledge that allow you to take a tangible step into your future. I always encourage my clients to pick a date that they want to be living into their vision. It might be the date they quit their job, or move to another state, or country, or a date they launch their business. Your plan needs a date. It becomes your true north as you move forward, recalibrating as you go. The universe supports you because you've committed. I cannot tell you how often my clients have told me (in awe) they reached their goal or dream just before their date. I promise you, the cosmos is listening!

8. The eighth and most essential step is to celebrate. Celebrate YOU! Celebrate what it took to get to where you wanted to be or to manifest your new creation!

I invite you to save this post and use these steps as you reflect on how you want to design your life around what matters most to you. First, start with the Conscious Living Assessment. Then, schedule a complimentary session with me if you need additional support and you’re serious about shifting towards a more fulfilling life,

For now, give yourself a pat on the back and a giant hug for making it through 2021!