An Interesting Sentence!

Instant Quiz

Can you improve the sentence below? Scroll to the bottom of today’s post for the answer.     

Although my mother doesn’t like this dress, five different people complimented me when I wore it yesterday!

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Today we’re going to look at a sentence that seemed simple to me – until I started an online conversation about it. Ray Lewis is an English teacher who saw something I didn’t!

I think you’ll be interested in our reactions – but there’s more. I think our online conversation makes an important point: often there are multiple ways to think about language.

(Note: PTSD is an acronym for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. A person who’s lived through a horrible experience may suffer aftershocks – PTSD – for a long time: depression, rage, and fear, for example.)

Let’s get started! Here’s the sentence we’re talking about today:

People with PTSD will be severely affected in their daily life, study and work.

Here’s my reaction:

The word “affected” is wrong here. It’s a word that writers should usually avoid. It’s too vague. Will life be better – or worse – for people with PTSD?

Here’s my suggestion for improving the sentence:

People with PTSD are going to have difficulty in their daily life, study, and work.

Soon after I posted this, an English teacher named Ray Lewis raised an objection:

I don’t see that the meaning of affected is ambiguous here, because of the clear connotation of ill-effects given by the use of the adverb severely.

Of course, without that adverb it might be more difficult to determine that weren’t talking about beneficial effects. However, the context of any preceding text may well make this clear too.

Here’s what I think: BRAVO, Ray! You’re absolutely right.

Ray’s comments underline an essential truth about language: the meaning usually comes through, even if the experts have quibbles.

Language is almost bulletproof. As Ray noted, often there are clues to the meaning (in this case, the word severely). And he made another important point: context often has important clues for us.

I’m going to add one more comment: I always encourage writers to use strong verbs. Affected is a wishy-washy word. I’d say that PTSD destroys relationships, ruins lives, destroys careers…you get the idea.

Thanks for a stimulating conversation, Ray!

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Instant Quiz ANSWER

Five different people means exactly the same thing as five people. Don’t use different unless it adds something useful to a sentence. (Today it doesn’t.)

Although my mother doesn’t like this dress, five people complimented me when I wore it yesterday!  BETTER

What Your English Teacher Didn’t Tell You is available in paperback and Kindle formats from Amazon.com and other online booksellers.
“A useful resource for both students and professionals” – Jena L. Hawk, Ph.D., Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College

“Personable and readable…Jean knows her subject forwards and backwards.” – Adair Lara, author of Hold Me Close, Let Me Go