That One Time at Target...
I wasn't going to tell you a story today.
I figured you were all getting ready to dive into a 🦃turkey cavity and swim in various pies🥧🥧-- so why distract you from that holiday awesomeness?
But then I went into the dark hole (Aka Target🎯).
It started off fine. I was going to get some press-on nails💅 for tomorrow because a while ago I saw a clip of a woman doing her own nails with Polygel and I thought-- 💡I can do that! 💡
Long story short--I can't⛔.
And my nails are still recovering/growing back to a normal length. 🤷♀️
Anyhoo, back to Target🎯.
As with any trip I make to the red bullseye, I go in for 🛍️one thing and come out with five to ten others🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️.
So there I am with press on nails, shampoo, conditioner, some new hair gel that promises to make my hair look amazing while it air dries💁♀️, and a cute pair of earrings all clutched to my chest because I thought if I didn't get a basket or cart it would prevent me from buying more. 🤔
It didn't.⛔
A lovely woman with a cart 🛒 walks by me in the children's shoe section and she asks me if I want her to get me basket.
❤️How sweet is that?❤️
I thank her, tell her I'm fine, and then make a 🤗few jokes🤗 about my need for impulse buy anonymous, which she laughs at.
I go on my merry way over to Women's Apparel, happy that I put a smile😊 on someone's face.
Because, as you probably know, I love to make people laugh. 🤷♀️
Great day, right?
Until another woman, dressed all in black like a freaking ninja🥷 walks up behind me and scares the crap out of me. 😱
Apparently when I am startled I jump🤾. And raise my hands👊👊 to ward-off impending evil. And hyphen curse🤬.
“Shit-fuck!”
Nails💅, hair products🧼, accessories💎 spend a few seconds sailing through the air before crashing down around me🤭.
Women, families, children all turn to stare at me open-mouthed😮😮, including the nice lady from before😦 and the ninja🥷.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I spent the day before Thanksgiving🤦♀️.
You would think I high-tailed🏃 it out of there before I could do anymore damage, but I totally waited fifteen minutes🕞 in line at the Starbucks☕ inside waiting for my grande oatmilk latte with one pump white mocha because I have no shame🤷♀️.
Have a fabulous Thanksgiving🦃-- hope you enjoyed the story.
And watch out on Black Friday. Between the scene I wrote in Space Balls and people like me wandering around, Target🎯 can be one dangerous place.
(or funny🤣, depending on your outlook🤷♀️).
I figured you were all getting ready to dive into a 🦃turkey cavity and swim in various pies🥧🥧-- so why distract you from that holiday awesomeness?
But then I went into the dark hole (Aka Target🎯).
It started off fine. I was going to get some press-on nails💅 for tomorrow because a while ago I saw a clip of a woman doing her own nails with Polygel and I thought-- 💡I can do that! 💡
Long story short--I can't⛔.
And my nails are still recovering/growing back to a normal length. 🤷♀️
Anyhoo, back to Target🎯.
As with any trip I make to the red bullseye, I go in for 🛍️one thing and come out with five to ten others🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️.
So there I am with press on nails, shampoo, conditioner, some new hair gel that promises to make my hair look amazing while it air dries💁♀️, and a cute pair of earrings all clutched to my chest because I thought if I didn't get a basket or cart it would prevent me from buying more. 🤔
It didn't.⛔
A lovely woman with a cart 🛒 walks by me in the children's shoe section and she asks me if I want her to get me basket.
❤️How sweet is that?❤️
I thank her, tell her I'm fine, and then make a 🤗few jokes🤗 about my need for impulse buy anonymous, which she laughs at.
I go on my merry way over to Women's Apparel, happy that I put a smile😊 on someone's face.
Because, as you probably know, I love to make people laugh. 🤷♀️
Great day, right?
Until another woman, dressed all in black like a freaking ninja🥷 walks up behind me and scares the crap out of me. 😱
Apparently when I am startled I jump🤾. And raise my hands👊👊 to ward-off impending evil. And hyphen curse🤬.
“Shit-fuck!”
Nails💅, hair products🧼, accessories💎 spend a few seconds sailing through the air before crashing down around me🤭.
Women, families, children all turn to stare at me open-mouthed😮😮, including the nice lady from before😦 and the ninja🥷.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I spent the day before Thanksgiving🤦♀️.
You would think I high-tailed🏃 it out of there before I could do anymore damage, but I totally waited fifteen minutes🕞 in line at the Starbucks☕ inside waiting for my grande oatmilk latte with one pump white mocha because I have no shame🤷♀️.
Have a fabulous Thanksgiving🦃-- hope you enjoyed the story.
And watch out on Black Friday. Between the scene I wrote in Space Balls and people like me wandering around, Target🎯 can be one dangerous place.
(or funny🤣, depending on your outlook🤷♀️).
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