The Big Disconnect: Self-Acceptance vs Being Accepted

Hi and Welcome to the A & J PEI Treasures E Jean Simpson Author Blog Post and Podcast. I’m your host, Jean coming to you from the beautiful Province of Prince Edward Island, Canada!! The blog post and podcast is an opinion piece and only reflects this author’s opinion and not that of any other entity. Today’s blog post and podcasts focuses on how in this day and age, we still are less real than we were. If you want to find out more, then stay tuned…

I find that often there is a disconnect between what society says and what people do. I am fascinated by these disconnects and sometimes troubled by them. People are always talking about the importance of being yourself. The importance of accepting yourself for who you are is given a lot of press. However, at the same time, they come up with ways of not showing who you are or being different and potentially more acceptable. The disconnect seems to be between people needing to feel accepted and the need to accept themselves is often at odds. I think it creates issues within society and negatively impacts mental health as well.

I sometimes spot check my follows. It just gives me a sense of who I am following and who they are and if I should follow them back. Some things I do not follow as they don’t seem appropriate to what I do or what I believe. Nothing against the people, just I know what things I’m happier to avoid. I tend to do a scan at the very least. I see what they post, but that isn’t always the whole story. My last spot check opened up a whole new world to me that I didn’t even know existed…and I’m not sure it is a change for the better. You see, as per usual, I did a check on the picture that was posted (sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised). Much to my surprise, this person did not exist…literally. I’m not making this up. They literally showed up as this person does not exist. There was a page that will give you computer generated faces. I’m not sure the use of them. I think what I found disturbing is that it is like a shield to hide behind and I don’t understand the utility. I guess in this day and age, I thought people were working toward being OK with who they were. We spout off enough about accepting ourselves and others. We throw fits if someone mentions weight because it is fat shaming, we blow gaskets over vaccinations and masks. We spout out how we should accept how we look. We should be who we are. Yet, we have all sorts of ways of hiding who we are. This was just one more example. For those who are unaware of these things…this is an article about it: https://nextbigwhat.com/nvidia-ai-thi... I found it flabbergasting that someone would have this available. I would suppose there are some uses for it. I found one as one of my followers didn’t exist. Obviously they did but not as the person in the picture that they presented. Which brings me to the question of how many people you follow or follow you don’t exist. It’s rather a daunting idea that you might have people posing as non-existent people. It gives a whole new level of arguments on the concept of reality and existentialism as well.

I don’t know if there are some people who have been taught to be ashamed of themselves and so they hide who they are, trying to scam their way into your life or for some reason are they shy and don’t want to be recognized. I don’t know if it is considered couture of pages. To be honest, I’m not a fan of putting my picture out there because I like my little bit of anonymity. It never, however, occurred to me to get a constructed picture of not me. I might have considered a caricature for fun…but the idea of using a picture that was created by a computer system never occurred to me. Perhaps I’m too dedicated to being modest to think of it. Perhaps under certain circumstances I might have considered it. It seems to me rather anti-be yourself. It tells us be yourself, but don’t be yourself. Be some idealized version of yourself. As Finja Brandenburg.said; "Accept that you are not perfect, but you are enough. And then start working on everything that destroys you. Your insecurities, your ego, your dark thoughts. You will see, in the end you're going to make peace with yourself."

Perhaps that is what concerns me most. The more we say that we need to be who we are and to accept ourselves, the more we come up with ways of being ‘superhuman’, we want to be accepted which is quite different from accepting ourselves. One is the road to perdition and the other to road to peace and acceptance. If we cannot accept who we are, how can we expect others to accept who we are? I’m not talking the odd thing to make yourself feel good. I dye my hair because I like to do it once in a while. It makes me feel like I’ve done something just for me. I choose weird colours because I can. It doesn’t change who I am and it doesn’t change how I look except cosmetically. It doesn’t change the slight limp when my hip gives me grief. It doesn’t change that my eyes are slightly different colors. It doesn’t change the person I am.

Perhaps because of my desire to be who I am and do what fits for me, I don’t use much, if any photo shopping on my pictures. If I have something that takes away from the picture, I cut back the picture, but I seldom make changes. I’m also particularly bad at making these changes. I have done it in cases where I needed number of items in a picture, but in general the pictures I put up are as they appear in their natural form. Nature in its glory and perfect imperfection. We have to accept nature for what it is…we cannot change nature and yet we find it beautiful. We love the uneven flower petals, the butterfly with the asymmetrical wings. Then why do we try to hide who we are? I would honestly prefer a picture of a keyboard or a sunset or a flower than a false picture of someone. I’ve seen so many people in my years on earth due to many different jobs that I sometimes find people familiar that are not. It doesn’t stop me from treating them or nature respectfully.

My advice to this generation who was born when you can change who you are dramatically with the flip of a switch is don’t do it. If you aren’t good enough as you are, then what will make you good enough? When will you be good enough? I think my wish for everyone can be summed up by two quotes. "You inspire people, not by showing them how amazing you are, but by showing them how amazing they are." From Alexander Den Heijer. You see, everyone is born on the same planet. We are all on this twirling rock together. We might as well act like it. I think this more or less brings the only other important point which needs to be taken in partnership and brings it full circle. The quote is from Brittany Josephina who said, "You are offered a new opportunity with each breath to think, decide, choose and act differently – in a way that supports you in being all that you are capable of being. You are not less than. You are enough." I think if people came around to those two ideas, the world might have no other choice but be improved by it.

Thanks for listening to my podcast and/or reading my blog post and thanks for your interest in A & J PEI Treasures!

Thank you to everyone who voted in the TCK 2021 Reader’s Choice Awards for my e-book!

I have finally gotten out my latest e-book which is The Big Kid’s Magical Path to Insects in Nature. It is available via Smashwords and I’m AFFILIATE there (https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...) in a variety of formats and through Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KKWT9ZD)!

Our Blog Posts are available on
WordPress: https://wordpress.com/sites/aandjpeit... and
GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...

Podcast are available on Anchor FM in a variety of formats: https://anchor.fm/a--j-pei-treasures iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-e-...
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/e-...
Amazon: https://music.amazon.ca/podcasts/879a...

All my e-books can be found on:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/E.-Jean-Simpso...

Keep watching for more e-books and more formats! We’re always working on something! Thank you!
E. Jean Simpson