What next?

Our 3.8 year old fridge freezer broke Sunday. It’s a Kenwood and it wasn’t cheap. I did all the usual things. I took the back off, looked to see if there was anything which looked like it might be broken. The compressor was hot, the fan was working and the lights were on. But no cooling. We took some advice and it seemed that the compressor system might well be down, a repair of which is not cost-effective. Which, in these days of climate change and the supposed longevity of white goods, is a real pain. Thankfully we have the van and some lovely neighbours, so none of the food is lost. But what do you do … other than not buy another Kewnwood?

In the end we’ve bought a new one. We did look at going second hand, and there were plenty to choose from on the market. But, again looking environmentally, an old fridge uses a lot more electricity … etc. Anyhow, we’ve bought a Samsung, pretty much like-for-like, accept this one has a 5 year warranty (10 years on the compressor). Hopefully the next time we need it replacing we’ll be thinking about which nursing home is the best choice for us and won’t be taking it with us.

still walking

I have to say I’ve been feeling a bit down for about a week. I would never describe myself as a person who ‘gets depressed’, but a combination of not actually feeling great (ears and sinuses, mostly), the weather and home-based routine hasn’t helped. But, do you know what? It’s more than that. It goes back to my point I’ve made a number of times about having a purpose. I’m writing like a demon (87/130k words now) and that gives me some sense of achievement. And we are so close to getting the audiobook of Unsuspecting Hero out there – publication still planned for 1 December. But, if I’m honest with myself, is that enough? If I were selling 5,000 books a year (which I am definitely not), then this might all be different. And, of course, I have purposefully cut down my consultancy work … and I still stand behind that decision, but it leaves a gap.

The last time I felt like this was four years ago … pretty much to the week. Bex and Steven were in The Bahamas and not coming home for Christmas. We had time in Chatel sorted for January, but little beyond that (this time round we are planning to go to Korea in the Spring). And I was restless. So I started doing some supply teaching. I offered myself to a number of schools in Bristol and was immediately taken on by Bristol Free School. Things moved quickly and before you know it, just before Christmas, I was offered a part time job with the school. And having turned down another part time job at Badminton, I chose state over public. The next eight months were, I can best describe it as, ‘an experience’. And I didn’t stay there after the summer. We got on with the rest of our lives. I often reflect that if I’d gone to Badminton, I might still be working there now. I’m not convinced that would have been a good thing.

I suppose my point is, for those of you of my sort of age, retirement is complicated. If you have the finances to support your chosen lifestyle (we do … our travelling is of the budget variety and we live in a small house) then the next issue is are you prepared not to be wanted? Some people fill their lives with their grandchildren. And if that works for you, then fine. But if your previous existence has been hectic, and if you loved the cut and thrust of work, standby to wake up one morning and think … what on earth am I going to do today to make a difference? And this is particularly problematic if you are travellers, like us. Who wants to employ someone who is constantly away?

we knocked some walls down

You won’t expect this void. And you won’t necessarily feel it for a good while. Maybe even a year? But I think that, unless you take up golf, or have a big garden, you might get caught out by the ‘void’.

In some ways I’m lucky. For the next 10 years I could always find a PT job teaching somewhere. Maths teachers are scarce. And, assuming the kids are well behaved (note … probably a public school, Roland) then I know I would enjoy and get great satisfaction from the work.

Ideally, though, I’d be selling 5,000 copies of my novels a year. And, as you know, that is my next job … once I’ve finished this one. Mmmm. I wonder what I will be penning here in 12 months time? Who knows.

book coming along nicely

Anyhow, for the record we’ve spent two days at Jen and James’ knocking down walls, we have finished our edit of Unsuspecting Hero, we have one of C’s girls coming for supper tonight and, after a no-show last week, I’m meeting with Kenn tomorrow where we shall, inevitably, talk a load of rubbish about politics. Hurrah! And we’re off to London this weekend to see Kevin’s daughter in her final play before she graduates.

It’s all go.

Stay safe everyone.