Afterword for "Caninus"
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming… 
As promised, here is the afterword for my story "Caninus" from the Long Eyes collection:
No, the heroine isn't actually my wife. Yes, the real Diana has a self-possessed beauty and intellect, but we've never had dogs, nor marital trouble, and the real Diana is a marketing analyst, not a vet-turned-detective. We've never lived in a major urban environment, either, which is why the character Diana seems both intrigued and repelled the endless concrete of her unnamed city. To me, cities feel like a bizarre torture to inflict on yourself. I don't care if it's easier to find a good Thai restaurant. I get claustrophobic.
Like "Pattern Masters," "Caninus" was written during my horror phase. This was a few years before "Twilight," but vampires have always been popular, and I thought a vampire dog was a nice twist — not a werewolf, but vampirism in animals.
Animals wouldn't develop an elaborate, immortal society, developing their secret clans and secret rules. They'd operate on instinct. That struck me as cleaner than the sometimes indulgent, long-winded books about human vampires and their lovers, slaves, wannabes, hunters, and rivals. This story was meant to be a short, sharp shock.
It also came from my fascination with the human-pet relationship. As a boy, I grew up with dogs and cats, but now as a husband and a father myself, we're too busy earning a living, raising our family, and maintaining our home to give enough attention to a pet.
My impression is most of my neighbors are too busy, too. Energy costs more than in my parents' time, which means everything else costs more, too — food, clothes, utilities, everything. People work harder now than ever, and yet we're only household on our street that doesn't have a dog. Because I work at home, I often listen to those dogs barking in lonely, neglected misery for hours on end. The fact is dogs are pack animals. It's wrong to leave your friend alone in a fenced yard or a garage or your house while you're at work all day. They need stimulation, and they will create it themselves if necessary. Hence the noise. The dog is staving off madness.
I'm sure I'll get in trouble for saying so, but here it is:
Too many people talk a good game about how they love their pets like members of the family, but dogs should be treated like children. They need constant attention. If you can't provide it, don't own a dog. Of course they're cute and fun, but it's absolutely not cool to treat an animal like a toy you can take out when you want, then ignore when you're busy. That's selfish, even cruel, and the cranky writer next door doesn't appreciate the barking, either.
"Caninus" emerged from a long love of monster movies mixed with curiosity and frustration. Why bother to have a dog you won't care for? They cost money. They fill your yard with crap… or the street, if you're inconsiderate enough to let your dogs run loose because you don't want to clean up after them… and the trail heads near the open space where we live are encrusted with the mummified poop of ten thousand dogs excited to be free at last. They've become an incredibly artificial niche species. I don't get it. So just for fun, while we're on the subject, I've included a bit of free-verse called "Eighth-Acre Blues" that appeared in a college publication called Kokopelli's Seed.
