Beware the Byte of the Data Fairy

Hmmm, will this trial becoming soon to courtroom near you?

PROSECUTOR: Mr. Dyet, your testimony is that you entered all the data into the online form and saved it. But when you returned to the form later, it was empty.

MICHAEL: Yes, that iscorrect.

PROSECUTOR: Do you knowif you accidentally pressed “Submit” rather than “Save”?

MICHAEL: Let’s examinethat question. Accidentally implies Idid it without realizing it. So even if I did, how could I know I did?

PROSECUTOR: Just answerthe question.

MICHAEL: I don’t know.

PROSECUTOR: The questionrequires a yes or no answer.

MICHAEL: Okay. Yes, Idon’t know.

PROSECUTOR: You’reevading the question.

MICHAEL: Your fault. It’san evasive question.

PROSECUTOR: Let’s circleback to that one. You also testified that you entered the data in the form,your manager looked at the form and found it empty, you looked and found itempty but then checked back later and the data had returned. Is that correct?

MICHAEL: Yes, that’sexactly what happened.

PROSECUTOR: Come now,Michael. Do you really expect the court to believe that?

MICHAEL: If the courthas ever used a computer, it shouldn’t be hard to believe.

PROSECUTOR: How couldthe data be there, and then not be there, and then be there again?

MICHAEL: If a tree falls in the forest, and there is nobody there to hear it, does it make a sound?

PROSECUTOR: I fail tosee the relevance of your question.

MICHAEL: I fail to seethe point of you failing to see the relevance.

PROSECUTOR: Your honour,permission to treat Mr. Dyet as a hostile witness.

JUDGE: So ordered.

PROSECUTOR: I ask again.How could the data be there, and then not be there, and then be there again?

MICHAEL: You’d be betteroff asking Bill Gates that question.

PROSECUTOR: Answer thequestion!

MICHAEL: Okay, an evil data fairy removed the data and then put it back.

PROSECUTOR: You’retesting my patience!

MICHAEL: Now you knowhow I feel.

PROSECUTOR: Your honour,the witness is refusing to cooperate.

JUDGE: Mr. Dyet, you areout of order!

MICHAEL: You’re out of order! And you’re out order! This whole trial is out of order!

JUDGE: Mr. Dyet, I amdangerously close to finding you in contempt!

MICHAEL: You didn’t getthat? It was my Al Pacino impersonation.

PROSECUTOR: Ifnecessary, I will seize your computer and have it analyzed.

MICHAEL: Good luck withthat. Let me know if the data fairy returns my data.

Beware The Data Fairy. She lives in The Cloud, spreads pixel dust on our laptops and takes a byte out of our data. Virus and malware software cannot catch her. She travels invisibly via Wi-Fi and eludes all the nets set for her. She may be waiting around the digital corner of your laptop.

~  Now Available Onlinefrom Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites ofPassage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

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