It's pimpin', pimpin'

Note: This post is written with tongue firmly in cheek.

I recently became aware that, in addition to my job as an author, I've also been moonlighting as a pimp. How, you ask? Well, it seems I've been responsible for another author's sexual activities on page, and when you direct another person's sexual activities, well, that kinda makes you their pimp (hey, Rush Limbaugh would have my back on this one!) Let me give you the scoop.

In Ilona Andrews' novel Magic Bleeds, she closed her Acknowledgements page with this comment: "Finally, thank you very much to Jeaniene Frost and Jill Myles. This book does have sex in it. Please don't hit me anymore."

Obviously this was meant as a joke since, as a rule, I don't hit my friends (unless they're within grabbing distance and they try to keep me from my morning coffee. Then it's ON, bitches!). I assume Jill Myles doesn't physically strike her friends, either, so that's why hilarity was my first reaction to seeing some comments suggesting a few people took Ilona's words as a true admittance that she only wrote sex scenes under duress from me and Jill. Now, aside from the notion that I beat my friends in order for them to fulfill my salacious reading desires (my Pimp Hand must be strong!) anyone who knows Ilona knows that you could compare her malleability to that of a donkey on steroids. People, she is tough, stubborn, and has no problem deciding what she does or doesn't want to do, and God help anyone who tries to impose their will on her. ** So again, at first I laughed away the idea that a few people took as serious the notion that violence and/or my Vulcan [Smut] Mind Meld had been responsible for Kate & Curran finally getting their smexy on (plus the smexiness in subsequent Edge series novels. Call me Pimp Momma J because I rule this woman!). But then, over the past couple months, that same supposition didn't go away. Instead, it popped up in other places, like emails sent to Ilona or comments on various internet sites, and my hilarity turned to mild disbelief. A growing segment of people really did think me (and Jill) were able to compel another author to sacrifice her artistic abstinence principles upon the altar of You WILL Give Us Teh Smexy!

I can't speak for Jill, but oh, the feeling of powerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr that gave me!!!

I have now, in true pimp fashion, decided to make some money off this. So, with a $10.00 donation to the Pimp Momma J fund, tell me what you want to happen next with Kate, Curran, Rose, Declan, Audrey, Kaldar, and the rest of the gang.*** Threesomes, foursomes, bestiality, man-on-vampire-on-werelion-on-witch-on-sorcerer, I'll make it happen, people! Let's ensure that future Ilona Andrews books get their freak on!

Donation link for Pimp Momma J to be active in 2050. Until then, keep it real, people. Keep it real.

 

**This part isn't tongue-in-cheek. It's true. Ilona is an Alpha female all the way.

***No, I don't really want to hear lurid and/or freaky sexual suggestions for Ilona's books. I already get enough of those from people wanting to me outdo Chapter 32 in future books of my own series .

Mirrored from Frost Light.