The Rabbit Listened: Learning how to support our friends

From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019)Good to Read for:understanding difficult emotionsdeveloping empathylearning how to support our friendsSometimes the simplest thing can have the most profound impact. Today’s recommendation, I believe, falls into that category. I can only imagine the positive, cumulative effect The Rabbit Listened will have in the years ahead.

It was praised by Kirkus Reviews for showing kids how to ‘process difficult events and provide meaningful support to friends who need it’. (It’s a gentle reminder for us adults, too.)

 

One day, Taylor decided to build something.

Something new.

Something special.

Something amazing.

Taylor was so proud.

 

The illustration shows us Taylor’s fantastic project: a tower of building blocks. ‘But then, out of nowhere’, disaster strikes! A flock of birds swoops through the tower, causing Taylor’s hard work to come crashing down.

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From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

 

Doerrfeld leaves it to her emotive illustrations to show how Taylor is feeling. (Her love for animation is apparent in her expressive characters.) This simple premise (which is an excellent metaphor for those unexpected events that come out of nowhere and turn life upside down) is the inciting incident that the whole story is pinned upon. 

Taylor is tearful and alone, huddled alongside the trashed tower.

 

From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

 

A chicken stops by and encourages Taylor to talk about it.

 

But Taylor didn’t feel like talking.

So the chicken left.

 

One by one, more animals appear to express sympathy and profer advice and solutions.

They tell Taylor how to act.

“Let’s shout about it! Garr! RARRR! GRAAAAR!” says the bear.

 

From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

 

The elephant tries to fix it: “We just need to remember exactly the way things were.” 

The hyena laughs it off.

The ostrich sticks her hand in the sand and pretend’s nothing’s happened.

The kangaroo wants to simply tidy up the mess.

 

From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

 

(The snake is the most thought-provoking – and again, adds something that kids will connect with: “Shhhhh. Let’sss go and knock down someone else’sss,” it hisses.)

 

From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

 

But Taylor didn’t feel like doing anything with anybody.

So eventually, they all left….

until Taylor was all alone.

 

We can probably all identify with at least one of the well-meaning animals. But they do nothing to support Taylor. They want to fix the problem, but are unable to provide comfort.

Thank goodness Taylor’s final visitor ‘takes a more passive approach.’ [Booktrust]

 

In the quiet, Taylor didn’t even notice the rabbit.

But it moved closer.

Until Taylor could feel its warm body.

Together they sat in silence until Taylor said, “Please stay with me.”

 

And then what does the rabbit do?

The rabbit listens.

Because sometimes, there are no answers or solutions.

Sometimes, when we experience pain and loss, we need to process our thoughts and emotions by talking about them without judgment or well-meaning advice.

(That’s why I’m such a big fan of therapy.)

 

The rabbit listened as Taylor remembered…

And laughed.

The rabbit listened to Taylor’s plans to hide…

To throw everything away…

To ruin things for someone else.

Through it all, the rabbit never left.

 

From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

 

The Rabbit Listened, notes Booktrust, emphasises ‘the importance of listening, reflecting and allowing time to come to terms with difficult emotions’. Demonstrating how to find positive ways to move forward, it ‘encourages children to explore strategies to manage turbulent feelings, helping them to develop their emotional intelligence.’

I’m fascinated to learn where creative ideas come from. Perhaps unsurprisingly, The Rabbit Listened comes from a place of profound loss.

Two close friends of Doerrfeld experienced the death of their child. “They were very frustrated with their family and friends, because nobody really knew what to say or do,” says Doerrfeld. “And as much as I tried to be there for them, I also felt very helpless. What do you do when someone is dealing with something so inconceivable?” The event reminded Doerrfeld of a childhood friend who had ‘found great comfort in rabbits after his brother passed away.’ 

“He wrote about how important his pet rabbits were in helping him cope with his grief because they were a quiet, peaceful presence he could turn to,” explains Doerrfeld. “[H]e didn’t need anyone telling him what to do or feel. What he needed and found in those rabbits was a calm, reliable presence that was simply willing to listen.”

 

So, I went on a long walk with my dog, thinking about my friends and thinking about this letter, and the story for The Rabbit Listened just came to me. It’s almost hard to explain. I remember I ran home, wrote it down and drew rough little sketches, all in a day.

 – Interview With “The Rabbit Listened” Author Cori Doerrfeld

 

Seeing her friends’ experience made Doerrfeld realise how lacking so many of us are in emotional intelligence. She acknowledges that it’s ‘hard to know what to do in these kinds of situations, and even the best intentions can complicate things.’

That’s the power of picture books like The Rabbit Listened. They help develop empathy - (the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes) and start conversations about difficult emotions (that many adults shy away from). By using picture books as tools to engage with kids at this level, we equip them to thrive in future relationships and make the world a better place.

Because sometimes, when there is nothing to be done or said that can help, the best thing to say is nothing at all.

Doerrfeld describes The Rabbit Listened as “somehow general enough that anyone can see themselves in the book, yet specific enough that people know exactly what it’s about.”

She achieves this by:

constructing the text so that Taylor (a gender-neutral name) is never referred to with gender pronouns. (She also makes Taylor look as neutral as possible.)

making the inciting incident (the collapse of the block tower) age-appropriate and relatable for young kids while allowing for deeper discussion with older children.

Elizabeth Bird’s review for School Library Journal articulates the book’s significance perfectly:

 

The event that leads to Taylor’s misery is an out-of-the-blue disaster that strikes without warning or reason. And just like that, you have a book that can be applied to broad disasters like hurricanes, school shootings, or terrorist attacks or personal ones like the death of a loved one.

 

 There’s truth in the adage, time is a healer.

Rabbit listens as Taylor talks. In doing so, they navigate some turbulent emotions and find light at the end of the tunnel:

 

And when the time was right, the rabbit listened to Taylor’s plan to build again.

 

The final spread is a satisfying conclusion that takes us full circle. Taylor is now energized and excited to rebuild the tower (represented by imagined blocks rising high once more).

“It’s going to be amazing,” says Taylor confidently.

 

From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

 STORIES WORTH SHARINGThe Rabbit Listened by Corri Doerrfeld

Good to Read for:

Understanding difficult emotions

Developing empathy

Modelling how to support friends

Good to Read

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From The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019) | Illustration and text © 2018 by Cori Doerrfeld

 “Sensitive and insightful … an ideal starting point for discussion about how it feels when things go wrong.” – BOOK TRUST

“[A] deeply moving story to be read an explored” – CHILDREN’S BOOK IRELAND Buy uk buy us * I EARN COMMISSION FROM THESE LINKS #AD/AFF Related Articles Sign up for your free weekly email with more story recommendations and tips

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Thank you! SOURCESThe Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Scallywag Press, 2019)Interview with ‘The Rabbit Listened’ Author Cori Doerrfeld (Imaginationlibrary.com, 27 June 2019) Maria Marshall, Making Nature Fun (Mariamarshall.com) The Rabbit Listened (Design of the Picture Book) An Interview with Author/Illustrator Cori Doerrfeld (wisconsinscbwi.wordpress.com, 13 August 2019) The Rabbit Listen (Booktrust.org.uk)Review of the Day: The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (School Library Journal, 29 May 2018) The Rabbit Listened (Kirkus Reviews)© 2021 BY TIM WARNES(UNLESS OTHERWISE ATTRIBUTED)****USE OF THIRD PARTY COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL FALLS UNDER FAIR USE/FAIR DEALING PRACTICE.