Whatever Happened to the Age of Aquarius?

     A half century ago the age of Aquarius promised me personal perfection with bliss as sublime as a stroll along a beach. But since then, I’ve aged fifty years with wrinkles to prove it. So here’s my updating of the anthem “Aquarius”:

When my decades increase
And my back’s not feeling fine,
Orthotics guide each step,
Everything’s out of line.
This is the dawning of the age of A-A-R-P,
Age of Medicare Part B.
Seniority. Seniority.

Vegetables and lots of fiber,
Surgeons and prescribers.
No...