Spooktacular Halloween Hacks!

Make Halloween extra special with these Halloween Hacks!

Halloween Tip #11
Roast leeks with a touch of oil and salt, then oven dry and hand out to the kids for a healthy alternative to delicious chocolate. pic.twitter.com/HgKWi9ft4j

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021

Halloween Tip #57
Learn a simple "trick" you can perform when prompted. Explain how you have met the requirements of the trick OR treat request, then send them off, poorer in candy but richer in a basic understanding of contractual obligation. #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021

Halloween Tip #36
Canned oysters are a unique and economical alternative to pricey candy. Distribute on toothpicks (One per customer!) and satisfy the entire block with just a single tin. #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/z26mm9kqqE

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021

Halloween Tip #7
Often, turning out the lights and not answering the doorbell will not be enough to convince the more determined of trick-or-treaters. Lie flat on the floor and avoid any movements that may tip them off of your presence.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021

Halloween Tip #19
Pick up fortune cookies and distribute the fortunes for an atypical Halloween treat.
But just the fortunes as extricating them would require you to unseal the wrappers, and no parent is going to let their kid eat unwrapped cookies. #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/g7zXS1Wz0j

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 29, 2021

Halloween Tip #23
Create your own spooky DIY haunted house using cotton ball cobwebs, vampire bat cut-outs, and leftover cadavers from your local university's med program.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 28, 2021

Halloween Tip #71
Challenge kids to identify a character from a seminal work of horror by a single quote or woodcut. Winners get rewarded; losers go home empty-handed.
Suggestions: Vathek, The Monk, or The Mysteries of Udolpho. #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/VssEtejb93

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 29, 2021

Halloween Tip #22
Chocolate production contributes to climate change, CO2 emissions, and deforestation. This year, consider handing out carbon credits instead.#HallowweenHack #HalloweenHacks

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 29, 2021

Halloween Tip #31
This year, reward trick-or-treaters with the magical gift of mesophilic and thermophilic bacteria.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/vb1NIjY1Zq

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 3, 2021

Halloween Tip #9
Paint eggshells in spooky motifs and distribute as a nutritious, protein-rich alternative to candy.
Make sure the eggs are hardboiled to ensure easier clean-up once the kids get through with your house.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 29, 2021

Halloween Tip #19
Help trick-or-treaters stave off the late October chills with a warming pousse-café. Equal parts brandy, green chartreuse, white creme de menthe, creme de Yvette, yellow chartreuse and grenadine.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/Vckx7XmGwy

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 3, 2021

Halloween Tip #44
Answer the door as Dracula. Convince the kids you're the real deal by dressing the part and speaking in fluent Romanian. Prepare an elaborate backstory covering the last seven centuries should they have any follow-up questions.#HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/jBFMAlucQY

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 10, 2021

Halloween Tip #62
Glue dry pasta onto paper plates, then spray paint and distribute to trick-or-treaters. Gold plates for best costumes! Silver plates for second place! And bronze participation plates for the lazy shits who just mailed it in! #HalloweenHack #HalloweenHacks pic.twitter.com/kRV2tqx7su

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 14, 2021

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