Buffering slowly
People say it is tough to find the right life partner. I started to believe this notion. Every day, I witness my parents extract data from matrimonial websites. They are chasing families like credit card salespeople. Every day, my father calls at least three families. Out of which, few ask for pictures on Whatsapp and then don’t even bother to reply. Few families have issues with my height. My friends make fun of my short girl personality. Previously, it was a mere joke. For the last two years, it has haunted me even in my sleep. There are a few days when I feel proud of myself for being successful. However, even in this century, success is weighed down by a woman’s marital status.
Last week, I didn’t publish the blog for two days. The reason was I fought with my parents. I fought with them as some random person triggered an inferiority complex. From school to college, I heard many comments on my complexion, hairstyle, and so on. I drowned myself in books to escape reality. Yes, it is the truth. I fought my boyfriend’s comments during my college days. The worst torture I subjected my heart was falling in love with a man who didn’t respect me. I would say a teenager trapped in a man’s body. When we broke up, I couldn’t believe I wasted the precious three years of my life loving someone unconditionally.
At times, my thoughts return to my dating days. My collegemates looked upon us. Today, I am the single person who happens to click likes on social media for all my collegemates. Almost everyone in my batch is married. There are four love marriages that I remember currently. I haven’t had the chance to meet my friends, so sometimes I talk to myself. It’s heartbreaking to believe that there is no soulmate for me. Or is there something so unloveable about me? I am trying to find a few answers in life, just like my parents.
Quoting from one of my friend’s poems – “Yes, we are difficult to love. We indeed are, but sometimes broken souls do find a home in each other”
Do read his poem and vote for him – https://hashtagkalakar.net/evolve/#page-content
