How to Play Video Poker (In Vegas or Anywhere Else)
You may have played a lot of video poker and read many books on the subject. Good for you.
That's the best way to start learning about the game. With the exception of blackjack when a player counts the cards, video poker can be the best game in the house. But like anything else, you must know what you're doing.
I was sitting at a five dollar machine a couple of months ago, and a woman sat down next to me and inserted a five dollar bill in the bill acceptor. She turned to me and said, "How do you play this machine?"
Not feeling particularly chivalrous, I looked at her and told her to, "buy a book". She tapped a few buttons, nothing happened, and she cashed out and left. I could have told her a five dollar machine wants you to bet twenty-five dollars a hand, but I didn't. The woman was like so many video poker players—she didn't have a clue.
There are lots of stories passed back and forth about these strange machines among those who don't understand gambling. Hopefully, what I set forth below will help you gain some insight into a game in which you may be throwing away hundreds of dollars with little chance of winning. Good luck and good playing.
The casino is screwing the players. First, let me dispel the greatest myth about video poker—that casinos can change the payout when they think they are allowing too many jackpots. The only way to affect payouts is by altering the "Pay Table." If, for example, a machine pays out forty-five credits for a full house, the casino can reduce that to forty and the machine will surrender fewer credits.
The win percentage is factory-installed. It's true that Native and other private casinos have their machines set at a lower win percentage (I know of one large Native casino whose machines are set at eighty-three percent). It's also true that Vegas casinos have the highest win percentages—around ninety-five percent. With respect to Native casinos, you can probably get access to the compact signed between the Tribe and the State which specifies the minimum payout allowed. In the case of the casino with eighty-three percent, the compact specifies a minimum of eighty percent.
"Win percentage" refers to the amount returned to the player for each dollar played. A machine set at ninety-five percent returns ninety-five cents of every dollar played, with one huge caveat—it all depends on the pay table, and these vary not only from casino to casino, but from game to game on the same machine. One other factor is the natural odds of hitting a particular hand. The lesson from this is to always check the table and only play at machines that give nine-to five odds or better for a full house on a standard poker game.
"Exotic" games such as "Aces, Faces, Double-Double Bonus" include arcane hands in the payout calculation (as they should). But it's much more difficult to get four aces with a "kicker" (the fifth card being a jack, queen, or king) than it is to get four aces.
Four aces without a kicker may pay eight hundred credits stand-alone, and two thousand with a kicker, but the odds of adding the kicker are a little over four to one, and the payout is two and one half to one. Think about it.
So how can the player win? If you're serious about video poker, the first thing you need to do is read a book—either on-line or in paper. This article is not about specific play strategies, it's about behavior. Once you understand basic strategies, you can apply these behavioral rules to win at video poker. By combining what you learn in a book with a few basic rules, it's possible to elevate the average payout to one hundred and one percent, or higher. Not a great edge, but enough. Here are some good tips:
1. Perks. They are important. Always play in a casino that award perks, such as playing points, etc. It's free money, and if you use it right, it will increase your percentage. You don't have to be a math wizard to understand that free money is good.
2. Bankroll management. The greatest single difference between winners and losers in any gambling game. Everyone has the same "luck". I know it doesn't seem that way, but it's true. Winners are referred to as "lucky", but they should be called "intelligent". Here's an example:
I play either ten or twenty-five dollars a hand, depending on where I am and the size of my bankroll. Size of bankroll essentially means, "How much can I afford to risk?" Consider the amount needed to live and play the next day, and you should be able to come to a conclusion about the amount you want to play.
If I sit down at a machine and hit a large jackpot in short order, I quit and go home. No ifs, ands, or buts. Let's say I have one hundred dollars in a machine and I hit a four thousand dollar jackpot. I collect my winnings and play off whatever's left of the hundred. Machines are prone to kick out more than one winner, so I like to check it out. I don't put more money into the machine. I QUIT. I allocate twenty-five percent of my winnings to my next playing session. If I go to the casino and lose that money, I QUIT. And so on and so on.
I've read many gambling books that say you can't win by quitting, but that's not true. If you simply return the next session and throw the money back in, you can't win, but if you practice sound money management, you will come out ahead by quitting when you win. That the game never ends is true. If you're a gambler, one session doesn't constitute a career, nor do five or ten. The game lasts all your playing life. Your wins and losses will be totaled at the end, but not by you.
3. Not all machines are created equal. Video poker machines keep track of "money in" and "money out", and award jackpots accordingly. Machines that get little play are less likely to kick out a jackpot. Do not sit at a machine and pump in money. If it looks bad, it probably is. Move, move, and move some more.
When I play, I risk a specific amount in a machine. If it doesn't look promising, I move on, etc., etc., etc. I have many hours experience with machines, and I can determine with a reasonable accuracy whether the machine is likely to hit a good hand (four of a kind or better) within a reasonable play period. Sometimes I'm dead wrong, and I end up putting money into a machine that looks promising but never pays out. If you sit at a machine and you double your money and never hit a big hand, play it until you can cash out for your original investment and move on. If you get stubborn or lose your temper, the machine wins.
4. Please, please, please, know what you're doing. I was waiting for a jackpot payout and watching the lady next to me play a deuces wild game on a dollar machine. She was dealt ace, ace, deuce, four, nine. She held ace, ace, deuce, four. I asked her why, and she said, "I hoped to get a full house."
Other players think they are playing poker. I've heard questions like, "who do you have to beat?" A video poker game is no more than a slot machine with choices. That makes it better than a device where all you do is pull the handle, and in some cases, worse. If you make bad choices, you give the house an even greater edge.
Knowledge will enable you to better the odds, and perhaps even go home with money in your pocket. That's the measuring stick in gambling. I keep track of every casino visit and every session. I know how I stand, and sometimes, it's not pretty. The hardest thing to do in gambling is to deal with losing. Dealing with winning is easy—it makes you happy, but losing a hundred dollars is twice as bad as winning a hundred dollars is good. You can't let it get you down.
If you become mired in spiraling gambling losses, you must quit. It's more addictive than booze or coke, and can be a lot more expensive. If you don't know where you stand, you won't be able to deal with your losses, either financially or psychologically. Never chase losses. Take it like an adult and take a break. I've learned that lesson the hard way.
Good luck and good playing. May you hit a royal flush every day of your life.
