Sacrifice – What is it in Relationships?

Sacrifice. When you hear the word does it convey a positive or negative reaction?

I think it depends of which side of the line you are on. Are you the sacrificer or the person someone is sacrificing for?

That line makes all the difference.

But should it? Should it matter where you fall in the relationship to determine a positive or negative reaction?

I’m single so I see relationships through a different lens than the majority of the world. I see it from the outside looking in. An onlooker. A spectator. I may not know all the details, but I can make a knee jerk reaction to what I see in an instant.

The other night I was listening to some people about sacrifice and relationships. How sacrificing is a way to show love. When you choose someone else’s happiness over your own.

Every lasting relationship has some form of sacrifice.

But the more I thought the more concerned I became.

If you look at whatever relationship you are in are you always the sacrificer? Are you always the one who others sacrifice for? Or do you sometimes fall on both sides of the line.

If you are always sacrificing for someone it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. One person should not carry all the weight. One person should not always bend over backwards to keep the peace. One person shouldn’t always go out of their way to show their devotion.

If one person in the relationship does all the sacrificing, is the other person truly worth the sacrifice?

I had a wise person once tell me, “A woman will marry a man hoping he will change. A man will marry a woman knowing he never will.”

But the saying can go both ways. A man can marry a woman hoping she will change, but sadly, if she hasn’t changed yet, what makes you think a wedding ring will cause her heart to change? A piece of fragile metal does not have that type of magnetism to turn a hurtful heart to a healing heart.

I have seen too many relationships where one person bends over backwards to accommodate the other. One person drops their guard and slowly gives pieces of themselves away until they have given the other person everything they have. To often people give themselves to someone because the sacrificee gives an ultimatum.

If someone gives you an ultimatum to do something you don’t want to do or they will leave.

Let them leave.

If they won’t sacrifice for you, why sacrifice for them?

Sadly, we live in a world where sex is had after a ten minute conversation and a couple of drinks. Where sex is used as a power tool or an act of submission. Where sex is not revered or treasured like a precious gift, but is given like a thrift-store sweater that gets used and then tossed aside when a newer fashion trend emerges.

We are called to love. We are called to share our love. We are called to sacrifice.

But we are never called to give up all of ourselves to another human who doesn’t reciprocate the same sacrificial heart.

If you are always the sacrificer – you deserve better.

If you are always the sacrificee – you deserve less.

Relationships are hard, but good ones shouldn’t leave you battered and wounded. Relationships shouldn’t leave you empty handed. Relationships shouldn’t leave you in regrets.

If you are feeling that way you are not in a relationship. You are just an occupied state of a hostile takeover.

It’s time to take your freedom back.

There is someone out there who will give you sacrificial love. Sacrificial love isn’t a one way path. If you’re never seeing it, it’s time to take a detour and find a new road to journey down.

And if you haven’t found it yet, just keep looking. It is out there.

Some people may think a single life is a sad life. But it’s better to be single with hope than to be in a relationship without any hope.

Here’s to hope.

And just to let you know, you are loved more than you know.

Peace

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