Taking “The Closer” Discussion into a New Direction

The Other Ni****s of the World.

Dear Dave Chappelle, the LGBTQ society that gets mad at him and other US-Centric thinkers,

You’re triggered. Some of you won’t even bother reading this and go straight to the hate section, I mean the comment/reply section. Before you get your panties in a twist, know this: I support affirmative action in America. To quote Chris Rock, “You got a four-hundred-year head start, mother fucker.” I am aware that as a cisgender, white, straight, middle-class male, I have to check my privilege. My life has been easier because of the way I was born; that’s unfair, and I need to shut my mouth when marginalized groups need to be heard.

I’ve heard you, but now take the time to get out of your little ‘Merican box. Whether you’re a Dave Chappelle supporter or a social justice warrior, you probably don’t like a white guy using the word nig — I’ll admit, even pronouncing each syllable in my head gives me the chills, and I couldn’t fathom saying it out loud. Yet the word dominates pop culture music; you can’t go to a club without hearing the word several hundred times (and the white man is still profiting off the music and word), so don’t start bitching just cause I don’t use an asterisk to censor myself. The historical weight to the word is significant and props to black people reclaiming it as their own, but if you think that me spelling it out means I’m a racist bigot, you need to recheck your WOKE agenda.

Since Americans feel they can makeup words and change definitions of words, let me be clear in how I’m using the word. Nigger: People whose ancestors were enslaved and are currently not given an equal opportunity based on their race. And by that definition, the word works for *drum roll* Ukrainians.

Dave Chappelle loves to point to examples of how much harder black people have it than everyone else in America, and he does a great job of it because he’s one of the greatest American orators of our time. But fuck, am I ever over him talking about trans people, blacks, and whites like there are only three categories of people worth talking about. Well, he also mentions jews and keeps telling us he gave up fifty million in specials and interviews. We get it, dude. You gave up a lot of money. Now imagine the privilege you’ve got if you can give up fifty million and make it all back after a soul-searching trip to Africa. That’s not just talent; that’s the privilege of being an American.

While LGBTQ members in various countries around Africa, the Middle East, and Eastern Europe need to fight or hide not to get killed, the LGBTQ society in America fights against Dave Chappelle and mislabeled pronouns. If you’ve travelled, you realize that all this pronoun and misgendering nonsense is not a human issue but a made-up English language issue. I know we need to fix the fact that members of the LGBTQ society have higher suicide and unemployment rates, but boy, do you love to complain about pronouns and Dave Chapelle. The man wants a better world; that should be clear if you’re not blinded by hate. Sure, he propagates the neoliberal capitalist agenda with his fancy clothes, buying out theatres with Joe Rogan, and driving around in sports cars, but that’s the American dream, I guess. Now, I’m not going to mention why a small (but very loud and well-published) group of LGBTQ society needs to stop stealing the stage when it comes to human rights. Dave Chappelle has done a pretty good job of that himself — well, in the American context.

To get outside the American bubble, you need to stop seeing and start thinking. On one side, you have black people who can’t help but be seen as because they’re, well, black. On the other side, you have a small percentage of gays and trans people who can’t help but be seen because they, well, love pride floats and the camera. The people you can’t see are Ukrainians. And that’s precisely why they don’t just get pushed down, but overlooked and neglected. They are not only fucked over by the privileged whites like myself, but by black people, gays, and all marginalized groups displayed by the media.

Now, earlier, I mentioned I support affirmative action, and that’s because I believe people whose ancestors have been enslaved, killed, and raped by the hegemonic class deserve additional help. The problem is that the hegemonic class is still the same and instead of changing power structures, all you’ve allowed them to do is make themselves look good. Because what’s the best way to look good? Make sure people of colour and the loud and proud gays get the job or into the school. Where does that leave the white Ukrainians that don’t get oily on floats?

It leaves them working twice as hard as African-Americans or gay Americans to achieve their dreams (now even the free-speech Dave Chappelle supporters are triggered). As Americans, you can travel and get visas quite quickly, you live in the wealthiest country on earth, you’re born speaking the dominant language, your culture penetrates every place on earth, you can say whatever you want about your politicians, and even if you’re black, you’ve got more opportunities than the majority of those in the third world.

“Oh, but it’s different,” you might be saying, “Ukrainians don’t get judged by the way they look.” True (fucked up cops won’t shoot a Ukrainian based on skin colour). But boy, do they get judged by the way they sound, and that goes for many Eastern Europeans (who Americans all throw in the same box). Social justice warriors complain about cisgender people playing trans people, female actors complain about not getting paid as much as male actors, and people of colour complain about not getting enough lead roles, but when have you heard people complain about Eastern European men cast as criminals and Eastern European women cast as sex workers? Definitely not as often, and that’s because it doesn’t trigger Americans.

The next difference you might be thinking about is slavery. Black people went through atrocious slavery trades by the English, Dutch, French, Spanish, Belgians, and when the rest of the white world gained some sense of empathy, the USA kept going. In his new special, Dave Chappelle mentions that some slaves found out they were free months after slavery was abolished. In Ukraine, the same thing happened, but instead of a few months, it was twenty years. And that was after 200 years of slavery. *For more information search “Why Ukrainians Should Support the Black Lives Matter Movement.” Great title, but it should also be the other way around.

Now, I’m not writing any of this to start a competition between who’s the most oppressed because that’s fucking ridiculous. I’m sure there are other groups of people (not just Ukrainians) who’ve gone through similar hell to the oppressed groups in America. I’m writing this so you Americans stop bitching about each other and realize that you’re all on the same team — the team that cheats and steals from other countries, so you can own two cars, waste resources, and live your American dream. You’re also one of the most innovative and creative teams on earth, but this opinion piece isn’t meant to stroke your ego. It’s time for you to stop punching down on each other, so you can look at what’s happening outside your country (and not just when it’s the wars you’ve caused). We’ve got global issues we need to team up for, and America needs to stop holding us back.

Nolan Yuma is the author of Living with the In-Laws.