YOU HAVE A DIRTY MIND . . . AND I CAN PROVE IT!

The moon hung tilted and lazy in the night sky. A heifer dozed in the field -- dreaming peacefully of whatever it is heifers dream of -- tail swishing the persistent swoop of a horse fly.

A light shone in the barn window. Inside, Jake and Linda Lou lie exhausted on a mound of hay.

"Are you sure we done it right?" Linda Lou asked.

"Yep. Juss like it show'd in the manual." Jake said.

Linda Lou made a face, "I dunno. Seemed kinda tight. Maybe we shoulda used more grease?"

Jake licked his finger and stuck it in Linda Lou's belly button. She squealed and socked him in the arm. For a girl who couldn't weigh no more than a hunnerd pounds, she sure packed a wallop.

"Don't you go makin' fun a me Jake juss 'cause it was my first time an' you done it before!"

"Aww, I ain't makin' fun a ya Linda Lou. Like I tol' ya, ain't nothin' ta fixin' the wheel on a tractor. An' don't you worry. We used plenty a grease."

"Well, whataya wanna do now?" Linda Lou asked, resting her head on Jake's shoulder.

"That heifer's asleep out there. Why don't we go outside an' tip her over juss for fun?"

"Jake, you are a wild one!" Linda Lou said, and socked him again.