Another Lesson Not Learned

New chapter on Love & Literature

Love is a complicated thing. The love we have for others face to face with the love we should have for ourselves. That’s what Allison Gaines is facing in chapter 3 of Heartbreak, Home and Hip Hop.

Once I made it to the apartment, I drank soup and waited. But Jackie never made it home that night. Neither did our newfound roommates. No one even called me. It was then that I started to reconsider this whole New York adventure, that landed me sick, far away from home, lonely, and invisible. Maybe this relationship was too new to take on the road, maybe I wasn’t made for New York, and maybe it wasn’t so bad being a big fish in a small pond, I began to wonder.

Allison is in another relationship with a rapper, this time in New York City, away from her home of New Orleans. Homesick, relationship sick, Allison is forced to consider that maybe this life isn’t for her.

But in a way, Jackie was right. I dated rappers in the past and certainly had some poor experiences to show for it. Hadn’t I learned anything? I guess not because deep down, I was a hopeless romantic. Despite what the past showed me, I wanted to believe there was more love out there for someone like me. Despite everything, I felt it was perfectly natural to want more.

Isn’t it, though? Natural to want more out of your relationship? To expect that you feel seen, appreciated, loved in the language that you crave?

Chapter 3 is titled Another Lessson Not Learned. Check out the full story.

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Another Lesson Not Learned was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.