The Squid Game, Korea.

The Squid Game, [1] [image error] a show on Netflix,

 is a brilliant piece of golden era TV. Seriously... I will have to allow the filter of time to run through my experience, but I do think that it is a great example of Koreans doing social commentary very damn well [2]. I'll talk more about it later, but check it out when you get the chance. 
Here's one aspect of society that the show doesn't look into: the women and what they have to deal with. Hence the low unmarried rate. One commenter:
Ooh I have a lot to say on this one. I myself am an umarried female in 30s in South Korea, and it's not housing prices, it's mysogny. Women are starting to realize the depth of the sexual discrimination that has been going on for so many decades. If they stay single they only need to earn money for themselves and care for themselves, but if they get married they need to earn money (but not more than the husband, because you'd be seen as a fucking bitch trying to belittle your husband. If you do earn more money, you better not boast about it or expect the husband to do the laundry) be a housewife, have kids and take care of the kids(but don't even think about asking the husband to take care of the kids), care for the in-laws(but of course the husband doesn't need to care for his in-laws or even his own parents. That's a woman's job). I have friends who are married and some who are unmarried, but housing isn't really the issue for getting married or not. *Edit: Never knew I get the chance to say this but, wow I am surprised by all the responses! I am trying to answer any genuine questions but that might take some time. And to answer some common questions, yes the situation is much better than the past decade, but still has a long way to go. I heard that mostly the gender issue comes from women who now know that they don't have to live like their mothers did, while men still want to live like their dads did. Yes there are some good men too, and a few are my friends but I wasn't romantically interested in them. I know housing costs can be a problem, but that's not the reason my unmarried friends stay unmarried.
Sounds a little like Japan. Some more comments on asian culture (who knows how accurate, right?)


I'm told parts of China like Shanghai are surprisingly matriarchal and women basically control the relationship & household


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[–]SonnieTravels 225 points 9 hours ago 


Women run the household in many countries. But that's part of misogyny.


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[–]iamnotamangosteen 61 points 5 hours ago 


You’re not wrong. I know exactly what you’re getting at. I knew a guy in South Korea who told me “Actually women have more power!! Have you seen korean women?! They run the household, they’re scary!” And he just didn’t get that it was precisely because household affairs and duties are seen as the woman’s domain and she’s expected to take care of all the domestic stuff. That’s not empowering or being in control, it’s being forced to take on all the responsibilities of a realm that most women would probably like to share instead of shouldering alone.


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[–]SonnieTravels 26 points 5 hours ago 


That's an incredibly common phrase in Japan as well. "Japanese women are so strong! They run the household and boss their husbands around!" But it's actually used against them to keep them in the house. I've had female Japanese students who say, "We're strong!" "Awesome! So who of you is going to run for Prime Minister!?" "Eh... Hahaha..." Most of them say they want to be a teacher, nursery school care worker, flight attendant, etc. But often plan on quitting once they're married. I was SHOCKED when our vet quit after getting married. Why would you go to so much schooling and she seemed so good at a job she loved! (I do know she was really tired from the hours though) 


Things are definitely changing, but women are now made to choose. More women are opting to work rather than have relationships. This is really creating issues for the government who refuses to change because less and less people are having babies and there's an aging population here. Its really interesting tbh.


then this:


I agree with you as a Korean American 30s male.


But we do feel the same way. Men are pressured to earn more money, to not show weak emotions, to be expendable for their family, and have kids. I am not being sarcastic at all. I am not saying misogyny doesn't exist or that it was and is fair for women. Just that this generation is dealing with the change of culture by ourselves-for both sexes. This is relatively new for us. Hell we were a monarch state untill 1877 and was liberated only in 1945. The change in social norms in recent years has been very confusing for everyone. 


Also, getting housing for 2+ people inside 2hr commute from downtown Seoul is very expensive. I work freelance and earn around 4000 dollars a month(which is about 6000 dollars above average annual wage. But when I work, its around 80hrs/3wk and have to be reachable by text 24/7) . I would need to work 50 months without spending anything to live in a 12m^2 home. excluding taxes and maintenance fees. So housing definitely is a factor.


Finally, Korean parliament is a mess. It's basically a reality show at this point. There is 0 news on environmental policies from potential presidential candidates. They say they care about the future generation, but they really don't. There is no reason to trust the government and the country for 30s Koreans.


TLDR; It's a collection of so many reasons for male and female populations. Including misogyny and it's fallouts, the housing market, government polices, and many more."


Some pointing out that the Korean males are angry because of th emendatory 2 year service they do in the army. 



There's also a HUGE amount of resentment from Korean men for being forced to serve in the military for 2 years and thus start their careers later than most women. It seems to be a huge sticking point for them that none of the feminists crying out for equal treatment also advocate for forced military service for women and believe that the 2 years they've effectively "wasted" should come with perks and advantages (mainly, upholding traditional gender roles that can look like outright sexism to non-Koreans).



then the whole conservative view gets toasted:


Omg that’s so much like Indians as well. Like there are just unspoken expectations that the female should be earning less than her husband. However, times are changing and women are challenging this behaviour too. May SK have the strength and support to do it as well. :)


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[–]tea-and-chill 320 points 8 hours ago* 


Thailand pitching in. We're in the same boat. I wonder if this is a general plague that affects all of Asia.


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[–]TScottFitzgerald 264 points 7 hours ago 


Well it's just an old school traditionalist view, pretty much every conservative community has elements of this regardless of the continent.



This part also is a good view:



Lived in Korea for the better part of a decade, so I can give you my input.


Those who get married are expected to have children. Children are pressured to get married and once they are, they are then pressured to have children.


Korea has many of the same issues as most first world countries who fertility rates are decreasing, but a few additional ones as well.


Stagnant wages. Wages haven't kept up with the cost of living. This makes it very difficult for a single person (presumably the father) to be a breadwinner for their spouse and their children. Even both spouses working can still not make enough money to afford the cost of living. Furthermore if both spouses are working, there's no one to really take care of the children.


Cost of housing. Cost of housing has exponentially grown over the last decade in Korea. Families can't afford housing while also trying to support a family. People can't afford housing that can accommodate a family, so they simply don't have children.


Gender equality. Many women in Korea no longer want to be the stay at home housewife. This means they are much less reluctant to have children who will "burden" them with staying at home. They want financial independence, even if married. Without a parent to remain at home with the children, couples don't want to have children. This is one of the reasons why a lot of women don't want to get married. Many are aiming to become a "Gold Miss", which is a term for a financially independent older woman.


Lack of a support network. Maternity/Paternity leave, lack of daycares, etc. If both parents want to work, there's really no one but relatives/grandparents who can help take care of children. Not everyone has access to this and many don't want to burden their families. Without providing a safety net, parents won't have children.


Work - Life balance. Working 9-6 plus overtime 5-6 days a week is not uncommon in Korea. This means people who work long, hellish hours are less likely to want to go home and then take care of their children or spend money to care for their children. They would rather relax and rest and spend that money on ways to help them cope with their work life. Furthermore many men simply don't want to go home to their spouse and children because of how exhausting their work is, so they simply make up an excuse and find a way to relax. This only creates more of a burden for the spouse at home. 


Some countries have found ways to handle all 5 of these issues with varying levels of success. Korea has not and they keep trying to combat the symptoms or outright ignoring them instead of dealing with the root of the problem.


Until there's a better support network in place in the form of daycare and company support for paternity/maternity leave, cheaper housing, an increase in wages, improving the situation for women in the workplace, and improvements in work-life balance, the fertility rate will continue to fall. 


Then the real problems begin. What happens to a society that is too top heavy? Where there are too many old people who vote and set the policies while no longer contributing to the economy? The young then have to shoulder the responsibility for dealing with that issue. Its not going to be a pretty picture.


Meanwhile, in other places of the internet... 


Lotta hate, people, and it's mainly because of the machinations of those above us. As seen with the dems like Manchin etc threatening to destroy the nation by being moderate. Just absolutely crazy to see it. A great nation just trying to implode. Like the old greek story, after Zeus heard that Prometheus gave humanity fire (or knowledge), he then cursed humanity to chase its own destruction after knowledge was acquired. Damn apes. 


[1] Ok, look at this find (the suit they wear in the show) on amazon. You can't get the dvd, but you can get notebooks and the tracksuit they wear. Odd, huh? Seems AI generated. I mean the masks, the front man masks, the oligarchs' masks, the foot soldiers' masks, cloth pandemic masks, posters...man, this shit really travels fast, doesn't it? I mean the whole das kapital system on a show that critiques das kapital. 
[2] Another death game genre, done in Japan, is Alice in Wonderland (AIW), and that doesn't have anywhere near the same level of social commentary. In fact, one big difference is that in AIW, you are forced to play, not to mention the apocalyptic aspect of the game (in downtown tokyo when everyone suddenly disappears), while TS has people choose to play the death games over their lives... yeah that's a statement about people, isn't it?
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Published on September 29, 2021 17:30
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