How To Surrender and Thrive
I was answering an email from a colleague today who was trying to find ways to help his clients navigate their difficult work environments. Sometimes questions like this initiate a flood of thoughts that have been lying close to the surface awaiting an invitation to emerge. And so they did. Here is an expanded version of my answer to my colleague, beyond book recommendations and practices. Dear reader, I hope that my thinking out loud will help you access your own wisdom that lies just below the surface of your everyday activities.
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We are all experiencing "existential angst" if you will. Our lives and everything we have ever believed is called into question every day. The ground on which we have stood is now moving and even has disappeared. This goes beyond resilience, much deeper. There is a deep and subtle loneliness within that comes from how disconnected we have become; disconnected from others, from the way our lives were and from ourselves.
Collectively, we are still attached to what was even though it will never be again. People who are in power are taking such desperate measures to retain that power so they can continue to thrive personally at the expense of the earth, future generations, and their fellow human beings. Organizations still do not empower women and diverse populations to act with authority and agency despite having data that organizations with women and true diversity is good for the bottom line. Individuals hold fast to their beliefs and drama even in the face of evidence to the contrary.
There is no discourse only dissonance.
Many are grieving the past without any real awareness that this grief is lodged in our minds, bodies and hearts. We truly have been traumatized but don’t recognize how that trauma is playing out. We just know that we feel uneasy, uncertain, and adrift in a world that we no longer understand or even feel connected to.
Some people took time over the last two years to change their habits and living conditions, voluntarily and involuntarily. They noticed what life could be like when they paused long enough to experience their lives differently. They are stuck in the in-between place between what was and what could be. They know they don’t want to return to what was but the vision of what will be is still elusive. Staring into a void, they are afraid but still, they inch forward through the uncertainty because going backwards is not an option.
In my work, I tell clients not to focus on what they want...but instead on what they want to create. I am challenging them to be bold and move toward creating their lives instead of reacting to them. This has created shifts for them to feel more confident as they focus on what they control or influence. They stop attending to the noise.
Acting from the inside out, and taking a stand for what you believe, will propel you into the future that you can create. This is a conscious choice to evolve.
The only way to feel fully alive is to surrender to life just as it is. Trust that if you do your own internal work, if you can ground yourself in what truly matters (spirituality, family, justice, environment, simplicity, etc.), then you will find your solid ground. There is no grounding out there only in here. Redefining the act of surrendering from defeat to surrendering to your truth is the only way to thrive in a world that has lost its bearings and is desperately in need of those who have found theirs.
If you’re feeling like you need a bit of inspiration during these uncertain times, here’s something that will not only inspire but provoke new ways to think about your life so you can thrive. Click on the button below.
Yes, I could use some inspirationPhoto by Elisabeth Wales on Unsplash
