“I’m trying to be on Broadway, but for some reason I can’t get...

“I’m trying to be on Broadway, but for some reason I can’t get away from toys. My very first job was at a little toy store in Brooklyn called Zak’s Fun House. For five Christmases in a row I was ‘Kingsley The Talking Bear’ at King’s Plaza Mall. Then In 2001 Toys ‘R’ Us opened up their flagship store in Times Square. This place was legendary: four stories tall, full-sized Ferris wheel. And they were advertising a position called ‘toy demonstrator.’ My God, it was a dream job; $15.80 an hour to walk around and make people happy. Thousands of people applied, but somehow I get chosen. And on my very first day I’m playing with Bart Simpson on a skateboard. But believe it or not, there was an even better job available. I think they were trying to copy the famous toy soldier at FAO Schwarz. Because they had these characters walking around: a toy scientist, a toy princess, a toy king. And that was the job I really wanted! So I didn’t even ask permission. I invented my own character. The next day I come in with a black suit, a black shirt, pinky ring. I’m thinking: We’re in Times Square. People are coming in from out of town. ‘How ya doin’?’ ‘Fuhgeddaboudit!’ But I hadn’t been on the floor for ten minutes when I get pulled into the office. The manager says: ‘What’s this?’ I tell him: ‘Vinny! The New Yorker, of Toys!’ He tells me: ‘Too much, too much. You’re scaring the kids. You look like a Soprano.’ So that night I drive over to my mother’s house. I bring her this old tuxedo from my closet, and she sews giraffe print all over it. I come in the next day and everyone loves it. And after that it was nothing but magic tricks, singing songs, and joking with people. Best job I’ve ever had in my life. But after four years they decide I’m getting paid too much, and they made me a manager. By then I had a family. I couldn’t say no. So I did that for ten years before they closed down the store. It was tough to see the place close. But I couldn’t cry about it for long, cause I needed a job. One morning I get a call from an old coworker. He tells me: ‘FAO Schwarz is opening up a new location. You could be a manager.’ ‘That’s fantastic,’ I said. ‘But I’m not managing a thing.’”