PODCAST: Do-It-Yourself Tests to See if a Marriage Book is Harmful
And it’s a hands-on podcast, too. We’re going to walk you through how to tell if the marriage/parenting/sex books on your bookshelf are healthy or not.
So grab a couple of books and a cup of coffee or tea, and let’s get started!
Oh, and for those of you watching on YouTube, I meant to mention my shirt, but I never did. We had these shirts made for a woman who was attending the American Association of Christian Counselors. It has our book cover on the front, and “ask me about a study of 20,000 Christian women” on the back. We’ll make them more widely available soon if anyone else wants one!
Browse all the Different Podcasts
See the Last “Start Your Engines” (Men’s) Podcast
Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:
Timeline of the Podcast0:30 How to figure out if you can trust a book
4:30 There should be basic standards
7:00 Footnotes 101
18:00 Anecdotes should MATCH the teaching and caveats
23:45 The Steps to Check if a Book is Healthy
46:00 Interview with Neil Schori on how to approach your pastor
We’re drawing on yesterday’s post on my two tests for how to tell if a book/teacher is healthy or not.
We look at:
Do they use peer-reviewed research?What counts as good research?Do they understand basic statistics?Do their anecdotes line up with their explicit teaching? (If not, the anecdote reveals what they really think)Do they change their advice when research changes?Do they go back and correct old stuff?Do they platform people that we know are harmful?It may sound intimidating–but I promise it’s not! And we show you how to look at these things in the books that you likely have on your bookshelves.
And don’t forget to download our rubric for healthy sexuality teaching! Apply it to the marriage and sex books on your shelf!
Download the rubric! Interview with Neil Schori: How do you approach your pastor about a problematic book/speaker?Neil Schori is an amazing pastor with a heart for domestic violence and abuse victims. He was unwittingly thrust into the nation’s spotlight when a woman he was counseling–Stacy Peterson–was murdered by her husband Drew. That started he and his wife on a big journey of learning more about abuse dynamics.
He answers a reader question today about how to approach a pastor who is using a book you know is harmful for a book study, or recommending it from the pulpit, or inviting a problematic speaker in to speak.
Neil Schori is the lead pastor of The Edge Church in Aurora, IL. Neil Schori’s passion for assisting victims of domestic violence was fueled by the tragic disappearance of Stacy Peterson in 2007. Over the past 10 years, Neil has served full-time in several pastoral roles ranging from family care and counseling to community groups and assimilation. As the lead pastor of The Edge, with a Master’s degree in counseling from Lincoln Christian Seminary, Neil has actively promoted the church’s role of assisting victims of intimate partner violence for the past several years.
In 2008 Neil Schori and Susan Murphy-Milano devised a tool that would give victims of domestic violence a voice. At that meeting, the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit© was born. Murphy-Milano subsequently wrote the book, Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Safely Leave an Abusive Relationship with explicit instructions and blank forms for victims and advocates of domestic violence to use. These forms provide individualized safety plans, which document the abuse in the form of witnessed, notarized and video-taped testimony should she/he go missing or become incapacitated.
Neil and his wife, Brandi, reside in the Chicago suburbs with their beautiful daughters Hannah, Mia, and Ava.
Be sure to watch Neil Schori on Dateline coming up in the next few months!
Neil SchoriLead Pastor at the Edge Church, Spiritual Director and Domestic Violence Prevention Coach
Win a copy of The Orgasm Course!We’re giving away ONE copy of the Orgasm Course to someone who signs up to our email list this week–and ONE to someone who is already signed up.
Join our list! Things Mentioned in This Podcast:Our Patreon! Support our research and getting our message out for as little as $5 a month and get access to our super fun and active Facebook group, behind the scenes podcasts, and more!Sign up for our email list!Our big post on the two tests for whether or not a speaker or resource is safeThe Great Sex RescueFind Neil Schori on Twitter, and join his Facebook Page for his spiritual direction and domestic violence prevention ministryOur Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & RespectOur Rubric for Healthy Sexuality Teaching--and our report of our findings from The Great Sex Rescue (you can download both at the same place)


Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum
Sheila has been married to Keith for 28 years, and happily married for 25! (It took a while to adjust). She’s also an award-winning author of 8 books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles. ENTJ, straight 8 FacebookTwitter Related Posts Does it Matter Who is the Primary Breadwinner?Sep 17, 2021 | 33 Comments
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