Pride Flag Update
The fight over our flag has continued.
It started when we flew a Pride flag from our balcony. A couple-three weeks later, we got a notice from the management company of our condo that said our flag was a violation of the rules and regulations. I pointed out to the company that the rules and regs only regulate American flags. Other flags, including Pride flags, were not mentioned.
We knew that our neighbor J---, who is also the HOA vice-president, was unhappy that our second-story flag was flying higher than his first-story American flag. And he's generally homophobic anyway. He filed the initial complaint.
This touched off an explosive fight, mostly via email. A couple days into the whole affair, J--- was standing down on the boat dock a few yards away from the condo balconies. He was talking loudly to another neighbor, and he told her that HIS flag stood for patriotism and THAT flag stood for a sexual preference, and they were going to change the rules to forbid THAT flag. I wrote it all down.
Darwin and I got really pissed. J--- is allowed to be as homophobic as he likes in private life, but in this case, he was clearly speaking as a member of the HOA board, and he was making hate speech against a fellow co-owner.
The board met--without informing anyone else that they were doing so--and apparently they voted in a new flag rule, one that forbade all flags except the American flag. We were served notice from the HOA's lawyer that we had to take our flag down immediately.
We shot back that both the original flag rule and the new flag rule stated American flags must be flown according to the US Flag Code, which, among other things, states that flags may not be flown if they are worn or torn and that at night they must be taken down or lighted. The new rule also stated that all flags must be 4'x6'. But several residents were flying worn American flags, didn't take them down at night or light them, and flew a whole bunch of smaller flags on their boats and balconies, and no one filed complaints about that. We were being singled out over our sexual orientation.
We also pointed out that the rules and regs clearly state that anyone accused of a violation can call for a board hearing, and we were officially calling for one. In the meantime, though, we took the flag down.
After a whole bunch of angry back-and-forth via email, R--, the HOA president, and K---, a board member, asked if we could meet informally to talk about the matter. We agreed, and the four of us met near the kitten shed. It was a long, sometimes angry, talk. I told them what J-- had said, and Darwin pointed out that the board wasn't being fair and evenhanded in enforcing the rules. I also said that the board had the power to change the rule at any time. Would R-- ask the board to do so?
R-- dismissed J--'s hate speech with a, "He's old school Baptist, and it's just the way he is" and said he had no intention of asking the board to change the rule.
A few days later, I put the flag back up.
Within an hour, I got an irate text from R--. "I thought we'd resolved this," he said.
"We haven't had our hearing yet," I shot back. "In the interest of convenience, we're willing to wait until the next board meeting."
That was a week ago. We haven't heard a word since. The Pride flag continues to fly.
I'm wondering if the board is sick of dealing with the time and expense. (Every time they consult with the attorney, it costs money--and they've consulted with him a LOT.) Have they decided just to drop the matter? We'll see.
comments
It started when we flew a Pride flag from our balcony. A couple-three weeks later, we got a notice from the management company of our condo that said our flag was a violation of the rules and regulations. I pointed out to the company that the rules and regs only regulate American flags. Other flags, including Pride flags, were not mentioned.
We knew that our neighbor J---, who is also the HOA vice-president, was unhappy that our second-story flag was flying higher than his first-story American flag. And he's generally homophobic anyway. He filed the initial complaint.
This touched off an explosive fight, mostly via email. A couple days into the whole affair, J--- was standing down on the boat dock a few yards away from the condo balconies. He was talking loudly to another neighbor, and he told her that HIS flag stood for patriotism and THAT flag stood for a sexual preference, and they were going to change the rules to forbid THAT flag. I wrote it all down.
Darwin and I got really pissed. J--- is allowed to be as homophobic as he likes in private life, but in this case, he was clearly speaking as a member of the HOA board, and he was making hate speech against a fellow co-owner.
The board met--without informing anyone else that they were doing so--and apparently they voted in a new flag rule, one that forbade all flags except the American flag. We were served notice from the HOA's lawyer that we had to take our flag down immediately.
We shot back that both the original flag rule and the new flag rule stated American flags must be flown according to the US Flag Code, which, among other things, states that flags may not be flown if they are worn or torn and that at night they must be taken down or lighted. The new rule also stated that all flags must be 4'x6'. But several residents were flying worn American flags, didn't take them down at night or light them, and flew a whole bunch of smaller flags on their boats and balconies, and no one filed complaints about that. We were being singled out over our sexual orientation.
We also pointed out that the rules and regs clearly state that anyone accused of a violation can call for a board hearing, and we were officially calling for one. In the meantime, though, we took the flag down.
After a whole bunch of angry back-and-forth via email, R--, the HOA president, and K---, a board member, asked if we could meet informally to talk about the matter. We agreed, and the four of us met near the kitten shed. It was a long, sometimes angry, talk. I told them what J-- had said, and Darwin pointed out that the board wasn't being fair and evenhanded in enforcing the rules. I also said that the board had the power to change the rule at any time. Would R-- ask the board to do so?
R-- dismissed J--'s hate speech with a, "He's old school Baptist, and it's just the way he is" and said he had no intention of asking the board to change the rule.
A few days later, I put the flag back up.
Within an hour, I got an irate text from R--. "I thought we'd resolved this," he said.
"We haven't had our hearing yet," I shot back. "In the interest of convenience, we're willing to wait until the next board meeting."
That was a week ago. We haven't heard a word since. The Pride flag continues to fly.
I'm wondering if the board is sick of dealing with the time and expense. (Every time they consult with the attorney, it costs money--and they've consulted with him a LOT.) Have they decided just to drop the matter? We'll see.
comments
No comments have been added yet.
