Alone In A Overpopulated World

Photo by Victor He on Unsplash.

I live in an ideal world where my words matter, but every sentence I spit out tastes like nonsense.

The bitter taste of nothingness rests on my tongue when I speak with others as they look at me as if they are struggling to comprehend.

I find myself ending my splurges of chatter of “do you get me?” or “am I making sense to you?”

The response is usually a yes, but deep down I hear “your use of English is poor”.

Why is it that so many people usually give me such blank-faced expressions?

I wish I knew.

I often feel put off by the expressions I receive when talking with others. I find myself continuously checking whether they can hear me as my voice is so soft.

They usually can.

I find myself sinking into smaller spaces because I fear large spaces may swallow me whole.

They won’t. Yet, I still find myself cramming my tongue in the corners of my mouth. Head tilted away from the judgemental eyes.

Silent.

I am much like a balloon waiting to pop.

Alone In A Overpopulated World was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.