They’re remaking THE LOST BOYS. Whee.

Too soon, my friends, too soon. As in, everybody still remembers how good THE LOST BOYS was. A remake is just going to be glaringly awkward:

Warner Bros. is moving forward with a feature film reboot of the classic 1987 vampire film The Lost Boys. The reimagining will star Noah Jupe (A Quiet Place) and Jaeden Martell (It). That’s a talented young cast, but there’s no information on who they’ll be playing in the film.

Look, there’s a reason why they never even made a sequel to the original…

INTERRUPTION, OFFSTAGE: Umm, wasn’t there some stuff a few years back?

…I said, THEY NEVER EVEN MADE A SEQUEL TO THE ORIGINAL. YOU ARE MISTAKEN, OFFSTAGE VOICE. Anyway, this all seems rather silly. Why not just remaster and rerelease the first movie? That at least would be a good thing.