What to Do if You're a Perfectionist Writer
by Emme Gannon @GannonEmme
I don’t know if there exists a Perfectionist Anonymous, but if one did exist, I would slink into one of the meetings, hide in the last row and when I couldn’t put off the inevitable, stand up and confess in a soft shy voice, “My name is Emme and I’m a perfectionist.”
My computer files have more than a few works in progress as well as a completed novel and another one that is taking way too long to complete. Some agents have actually dangled the hope of publishing my novel at me, but then pulled back with the words we all hate to hear, “It’s not quite ready yet.” Instead of hope, those words to a perfectionist tell us, “Why did you ever think you could do this? Just give up and save yourself more embarrassment.”
Of course, we who feel we are born to write, don’t really give up. Instead, we raise the bar for ourselves and then procrastinate. Yes, that’s right, procrastination is often a sign that we are a perfectionist. We may postpone our writing until deadline is near. We search our brains for the perfect topic, story, or article and then leave the dishes in the sink, the laundry in the basket, and deny the dog her walk, so that we can begin a writing marathon that miraculously produces on time.
Fear of disapproval usually drives we perfectionists. It fuels our desire to produce a perfect work. We deny ourselves the joy of writing the words and stories we are passionate about and, instead, write what we think will gain approval. To continue to try to please others very often brings depression. We judge ourselves and our work with standards too high for anyone to achieve so that we can prove to ourselves we are a failure at writing. We can recognize this behavior in others but cannot see it in ourselves.
Oh, what to do with this dilemma we find ourselves in? I’ve painted a dark and foreboding picture that may sound hopeless to escape. Fear not, there is hope and healing for the perfectionist writer. In fact, a little perfectionism is a good thing. Just dip your toe in the water, don’t jump in.
Tips to Overcome Being a Perfectionist Writer
Wait to Revise
One way to slide through perfectionism is to not revise until you’ve completed your first draft. Know up front that it will probably be terrible but you’ll also have some good stuff to work with. When you’re finished, start editing. I play movie themes that inspire and keep the words flowing.
Write at Least Five Days a Week
Write even if you’re in one of your dark days. Write dark. Give your villain all you’ve got. Write how you feel. Edit later.
Don’t Be Afraid to Share Your Work
Don’t wait until you think your work is perfect before sharing it. Fear makes you hide your words. Hidden work never gets finished. Or published.
Be Aware of Negative Feelings Before You Write
Before sitting down to write, flush out all your negative feelings about yourself and compare them with what God’s Word says about His children. Get settled in your mind that you are His beloved. Jeremiah 1:5 reminds us, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart.” God created you for good works and called you to write.
Get Involved with Other Writers
Writing is a lonely craft. Join a critique group of writers you can trust with honest feedback, including your fears and frustrations. Be kind to yourself and use bad writing days as steps to improve.
Give Yourself a Break
Give yourself a break during the day and get inspired by nature. Take a walk, listen to the birds, look up at the cloud formations in the sky. Realize you are a part of something so much bigger than yourself. God has a plan and every part of you is a part of it. Even your writing.
Have Fun
Finally, have fun when you write. Enjoy the process and know there’s really no such thing as a perfect writer or book. So, relax and have fun.
Do Your Best and then Send it Out
Now let’s go through our files and dig out all those words and stories we’ve stuffed away because perfectionist us decided the world would laugh if by some miracle they were published. Look at them with new eyes and decide which are worthy of our time to edit and re-write. Then, let’s do it. Polish and push Send.
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Emme Gannon is a wife, mother, and grandmother who loves to write stories that stir the heart. Her award-winning writing has appeared in Focus on the Family magazine, several anthologies, and numerous newsletters. She just completed her first novel.
