On holidays from work…

Hey guys, I took a week off work this week. It allowed me to breathe. I had been so busy and stressed with work and personal things for probably 18 months. Over the past 16 months my brother was dying and I was working ridiculous hours. There was a lot of family conflict which was quite unfair and my experience with my brother just before he died was not like our usual relationship. It had been tainted by things said from the family. My relationship with my brother was always good until then. It made my grief 150% worse. But I had to choose to remember my whole life of a good relationship with him. I had to choose to forget the last time I saw him which was horrible. I have to forgive and it is not easy. This will take time, God willing. I know my brother loved me but some people are jealous of things like this and have been like this my whole life. So, in this most vulernable time this came out and then I was punished for someone else’s jealousy. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I drew this drawing yesterday- sitting in the sun and I felt completely free for the first time in 18 months.

To simply be able to do some fun things, and simply enjoy myself is not something I have been able to do. When I had time off I travelled to see my brother, sometimes interstate and sometimes closer, but always it was hard to watch him decline. At times I took him to hospital and always visited him in hospital, but even though I did these things people still complained. So, finally I am breathing. I feel for everyone who is in lockdown, and I just want to say to them, hang in there we will get out again.

Lots of love, Suz