blessed be
Photo by БОРЯ via Redshoti tell her i am not whole
there are days when the
life in me seeps out
during sleep, sets itself
upon the mantle, and
tries not to die
she doesn’t understand
i tell her she’s lucky
she doesn’t have the chance
worry is the devil
it does not hide
it cannot camouflage itself
into something less likely
to kill
it just is
and if you allow it to
consume you more than
you allow life to
bless you
it will have won
without even trying
i have my armor
i fight worry at every turn
she wonders if i’m strong
enough to fight her
battles too and i say
without thinking,
“i’m done warring for
others. i’m just too tired.”
she hears me
i do bless her
give her snippets
from my past to guide
her to a future
she needs more than
the present we’re in
it is my benediction
i clasp my hands in prayer
blow a kiss in her
direction and wish her well
i always wish her well
sometimes this doesn’t matter
sometimes the waves
come harder and heavier
and the weight from them
pushes me into her with
rage
it is not by accident
everything has a reason
everything has a purpose
but i know i can only
offer what i have
i can’t muster up
anything else
not anymore
©2021 Tremaine L. Loadholt
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