I Had to Laugh

 Laughter, they say, is the medicine of the soul. It can literally bring a person out of his or her depressed mental state and into a world full of warm fuzzy love within seconds of its first gutsy blast! Try it. Just bust out laughing and try not to spew snot out of your nose when you do it. That could be embarrassing! I came across a post today of a friend who said he wasn't in the best of places but he decided to watch a few funny videos to help his heart out, and it worked. It made me think of what I do when I'm feeling down, and what I do when I know I need to get rid of the misery goats that seem to stick around now and then for no cause.  What do I do? I try to remember the most embarrassing moments in my life where I made either the biggest mistakes that led to the world having a good laugh or when the world made a mistake or two that worked in my favor.  Today was one of those days!

    You may or may not know that I'm a teacher, but I am. I am active, as of this date anyway, working at a middle school in the Oklahoma City area. I teach 8th grade English at the very school where I went to school in fact. I am standing in the same spot where my teachers stood as they tried their best to wrangle a lanky knobby-kneed teenage spirit clown whose only goal in life was to get out of as much work as possible. Yep, that was me. Here I am, (karma much) wrangling and wrestling with kids trying to do the same thing to me! Oh, but no friend, I have the upper hand. I know exactly what I did and know how to counter their (likely) every move.  Somehow or another I began making a list this morning of all the things I did back in the day, and when I pried open my mind's treasure baskets, dusted off the year, and looked for the little nuggets I knew must be hidden deep inside, I found a few.  

    As a kid, somewhere between ages 13-14, I was the one doing gymnastics up and down the hallways. It didn't matter if all the other kids were walking down or up those halls, you'd hear me screaming at the top of my lungs "gangway" just before catching a wee glimpse of flailing arms and legs, pounding thump, thump, thump, as I pushed my body into no less than 10-12 back handsprings before finishing with a full Sumi, quite often kicking into a Russian split at the end before landing. Please, no, don't expect that to happen now, that's why God made arthritis. To remind me I'm not 14 at the moment. Nope, not even close. The good news is, I remember running into people, knocking into people, smashing into people, rolling over on top of people, and thankfully, no one was seriously injured. At least the teachers knew to step aside. Age has its experienced advantages.

    Did I get in trouble for this behavior? What kind of question is that? Of course, I got in trouble. I stayed in trouble. If at all possible, I may have invented trouble. I'm not really sure, but yeah, it was my closest ally and friend. We hung out all the time, and when I wasn't with "Trouble", I was with "Annoying" and "Obnoxious" because that is who I was. I would say that's who I am, but again, age has it's advantages - - sometimes.  I was given detention. I cleaned the bottoms of thousands of desks. I dusted the gym floors with floppy mops, I watered the plants outside the science rooms. I helped the janitor empty trash -- it was almost as if I thought or believed it was my assignment, but in reality, it was supposed to detour me from flipping up and down the hallways -- it wasn't the best solution to their problem. Even calling my mom to address the issue was fruitless. She tried, don't get me wrong. I agreed to stop -- but yeah, no. I didn't stop.  Once a spirit clown, I suppose always a spirit clown.

    Today, I looked up a few things online that teachers have to deal with on a daily basis at the junior high or middle school level.  I'm surprised really that any of us teachers are still employed. We choose to stay, for the most part, you know that.  If you're a parent of a middle-school-aged kid, do yourself and the community a favor, and either be a parent or at least thank the teachers for attempting to guide your kid in the right directions.  Today a teacher puts up with cussing, spitting, fighting, throwing furniture, not turning in work, cheating, refusing to work, gross disrespect, name-calling, bullying, sexual harassment, scantly dressed kids, kids with drug issues, kids bringing weapons to school, kids not showing up and no one really cares to check out their whereabouts. We deal with so much these days that a girl flipping down the hallways just may be a reprieve of some sort. Maybe not.

    When someone asks me what I do, and the answer I can give is that I am a teacher, you know they never want to change jobs with me. They typically shake their heads and say "Well, I'll pray for you" or they say, "I don't know how you do it."  Their suspicions of what is actually happening are not wrong. They are not far off if they imagine the worst. It's just a mad situation at best, and only goes uphill from there.  There is, however, a light at the end of the tunnel for me. I remember every day that I'm the one who is the pole. I don't move, I don't budge, I don't alter, and the students are expected to come to me. They are expected to learn from me, they are expected to hear me and to follow my direction. If they don't I am not responsible, but I am ultimately the one who has the power to attempt a change in their lives for the better.  Just think, for this position I've chosen to do for this particular time, I'm paid just about as much as I would be paid if I were a clerk at a convenience store or the lead cashier at the grocery store.  Doesn't that fact make you want to drop what you're doing and put on that lanyard with your pretty picture on it? (Did I make you laugh with that one?) That's the goal.

    Laughing at myself for my decision to become a teacher again is the best and only way to survive the decision itself. I know that I'm really really good at this job, but no matter how great I may be, it has never and will never be enough.  Teaching takes far more than intelligence, patience, repetitive gestures, motions, and visual aids, it requires a sense of humor, you have to be able to laugh off the names you'll be called. You have to be able to laugh at the fact that you've just been called to the office again for something you know never happened, but you have to prove a negative to someone. You must be able to let it go when someone schedules a fire drill in the middle of a reading test - - let it go. It's only education. There will be another day to get back on track -- I think I am still trying to get back on track from 2014, but if I stop now to look I may miss the next train. Best to move forward.

    When the kids come into my room they may hear the Bee Gees blasting. They may see the lights off and realize I've turned on the rotating Christmas tree light thing that illuminates in blue, yellow, red, and green.  They may figure out that there are no desks or chairs because I felt that it may be more fun to sit on the floor or have a paper ball fight - - we may meet outside on the running track and go over Grammar rules, and anyone who screws up has to run a half lap.  You just can't get a grip on Dr. Stringfellow, and that's the way it should be. We need to have a bit of levity in our lives. I'm happy to be the one to bring it. Just don't turn your back too quickly. I may have whipped cream up my sleeve - - it could happen. Well, it has happened. It does actually happen. I'm THAT teacher. Is that a surprise to anyone? 

Photo credit: Waggoner Studios