Federal Election 2021: A Five Week Olympic Fact-dodging Sprint

Hmmm, did we not just do this every fourth year dance only a little while ago?

We are heading to thepolls on September 20th for another federal election. Justin Trudeausays he called the election because Canadians deserve a choice.

Okay Justin, my choiceis that you do not spend $500 million on an election in the middle of thefourth wave of a pandemic when you have only been in office 18 months and havealready accumulated massive debt with all the pandemic emergency reliefprograms.

But of course, it is notat all about choice for us or about what is in our best interest. The mostprophetic statement I have ever heard about politics is this one: The primary purpose of any government is toget itself re-elected. Trudeau called the election in the hope ofcapitalizing on positive public sentiment to secure a majority government. Itis that simple.

The only positive in thematter is that Trudeau chose the shortest possible lead time for an election.We will only have to listen to all the political rhetoric for a few weeksbefore marking our X on the ballet. Personally, I hope Canadians wrap Trudeau’sknuckles by booting his party out of power.

Or how about this: Ifthe Liberal government does not secure a majority, Trudeau must parade nakedthrough the streets of Ottawa chanting:

Irolled the dice and lost,

Ohmy, what a cost.

Nosalary for me.

I’ll rule for free,

With an out of tune banjo on my knee.

But for the next monthwe will have to endure the usual PR spin as the parties roll out theirplatforms and carpetbag of promises. Forget about the catch phrases and thegrandiose plans. The bottom line is always the same.

The Party in Power: We’ve done a bang-up job since we’ve been in power. Yes, there were a few scandals and we didn’t keep half our promises. But we’re on the right track. Don’t worry if the numbers in our economic policies don’t add up. Political math is a complicated thing. 2 + 2 can equal 4 or 2 or 7 depending on how you work the numbers.

The Opposition Parties: Everything the party in power has done is by definition wrong. The Prime Minister just isn’t fit to lead. Our guy is so much better. No mud on his boots (yet). Don’t worry if the numbers in our economic policies don’t add up. Political math is a complicated thing. Those guys play fast and loose with the numbers. The way we manipulate them is much better.

Think of this election as an Olympic event – a five week sprint to the wire where elbowing, tripping, shin-kicking, mudslinging and fact-dodging is all legal. The Gold Medal winner is the guy who shadow boxes best without ever actually giving a straight answer to a single question. Silver and Bronze medals are given out but they are consolation prizes at best.

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