Study Questions for David and David’s Son

I’ve heard from many people who read and enjoyed David and David’s Son. Some of them used the book for a small group study.

So I’ve written questions for each of the 13 chapters. Feel free to copy these if you think they will be useful to you.

Study questions: chapter one: Chosen

Read 1 Samuel 16:1-13

Have you ever experienced a moment when you felt chosen for something important? If so, what happened to that?When you were a teenager, did you have ambitions? Did you practice hard at anything? What?Did your teenage ambitions have any connection to what you’ve done with your life? If so, what are those connections?David and David’s Son says, “the beautiful news embedded in this story is that nobody can count themselves out.” (p. 17) Why does it say that?Have you counted yourself out in some important area of life? If so, how might David’s story help you to re-think?David and David’s Son also says, “We are all chosen for something.” Do you think that is true? Why or why not?Do you believe that God has chosen you for something? What?Saul had a calling almost identical to David’s. What’s the difference?Calling can be seen in an individualistic, even egotistic way. How does embedding David’s story in God’s story culminating in Jesus (the Son of David) change that?Can you see your personal calling embedded in God’s story? How?

Study questions: chapter two: Confidence

Read 1 Samuel 17

Where do you feel great confidence? What gives it to you?Obviously, people feel confident doing what they know they’re good at. But having confidence also affects their performance. Have you experienced confidence making you more effective? Where and how?Do you believe you can make people more confident just by encouraging them? What makes you think so?David’s confidence facing Goliath is extraordinary. Yet he doesn’t seem to have anybody encouraging him. Where do you think he got such confidence?David and David’s Son suggests that David’s confidence came partly because of practice. Alone with the sheep, he must have spent hours slinging rocks at targets. Apart from sports, where else have you seen practice leading to confidence?David and David’s Son also suggests that David’s relationship with God gave him great confidence. How does that work?On pp. 30-31 David and David’s Son notes that David, a successful military leader, never boasts in his own fighting powers, his army’s capabilities or its weapons. What is he proud of?David and David’s Son says (p. 31) that Jesus had unfathomable confidence. What do you think of that statement?If you agree that Jesus had great confidence, where do you see that rubbing off on his disciples? Where do you see it rubbing off on you?What can you do to become more confident? What can you do to give confidence to those you love?

Study questions: chapter three: Jealousy

Read 1 Samuel 18, 21-26

What are some of the bad actions people take because they are jealous?If you have ever known yourself to be the object of someone’s jealousy, what did it feel like?What makes you feel jealous?How can jealousy distort a relationship?How did jealousy distort the relationship between David and Saul?1 Samuel 24 and 26 relate incidents in which David refuses to kill Saul. How does David explain his decision?Does David’s decision make any sense to you? Why or why not?David and David’s Son says that “David’s behavior reveals a man determined to remain himself, to live by his principles no matter the provocation.” (p. 43) What are those principles?Jesus had jealous rivals in Israel’s religious leaders. How did he respond to them? What does he model for you?Imagine Saul if he had not chosen to be jealous of David. How is he different? How does he lead Israel?David and David’s Son says that “jealousy falls one way or the other. If you are successful, others will be jealous of you. If you are not successful, you may be jealous of others who are.” (p. 46) Which of these two have you had more experience with? Did it distort you? Why or why not?

Study questions: chapter four: Friendship

Read 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19:1-17; 20; 23:14-18

Do you believe in friendship at first sight? When and where have you experienced it?David and David’s Son says that “deep friendships can be especially scarce among ambitious men.” (p. 49) Do you agree or disagree? Why?Jonathan, who was older and more experienced than David, did everything possible to become his friend. Can you speculate on why?David and David’s Son says that “of all the people associated with David, there is not one to whom he can bare his soul, other than Jonathan.” (p. 54) Do you agree? What kind of harm, if any, do you think this brought to David?What friends did Jesus have? Were they important to him? How do you know?When Jesus’ friends disappointed him, how did he react?Do you believe that friendships must be pursued, or do they “just happen?”David and David’s Son says that “As you get older, friends become harder and harder to gain.” (p. 56) Agree or disagree? Why?If you are willing, share a time when a friendship has been critically important to your survival.How would you rate your “friends quotient” today? Is there something you could change to make it better?

Study questions: chapter five: Lost

Read 1 Samuel 27; 29-31

Is there a chapter in your life when you felt completely lost? If so, how did it come about? What brought you out of it?What realities prompted David to abandon his country and take up fighting for the Philistine enemy?What does Achish, Gath’s warlord, get out of the bargain?What do you make of David’s slaughter of women and children?Do you think David was really planning to lead his men in battle against Israel? If not, what was he thinking as he led his men with the Philistine army?At the very worst moment, after discovering that their wives and children have been kidnapped, David’s men think of killing him. Why? How would that help?Why do you think the author of 1 Samuel includes these terrible moments in David’s life? Isn’t the Bible supposed to be uplifting?How do you understand the short phrase, “David found strength in the Lord his God.” (1 Samuel 30:6) Is this simply a matter of using the ephod?Jesus, David’s Son, also reached the end of his rope, though in a manner quite unlike David’s. Please cite at least three ways in which he “found strength in the Lord.”David and David’s Son lists several actions that people take to “find strength in the Lord.” (p. 69) Have you done any of these? Did it help?

Study questions: chapter six: On Top of the World, Part 1

Read 2 Samuel 1-5, 9

Do you remember a time when everything went right for you? What was it like?When things go right for you, is it your instinct to be grateful? Or to assume you deserve what you got?What went right for David in the period after Ziklag?In a short time, David went from hunted outlaw to king of Israel. What did he do to bring this about? Why did it happen?Having gained the throne, what did David do with his newfound power?What is the significance of David’s reconciliation with Mephibosheth? (2 Samuel 9)What was David’s response to his incredible transformation? Who or what did he credit?What can you do to develop a grateful heart? Do you think it is valuable to “count your blessings?”David and David’s Son says that successful people often forget the role others (and luck) played in their success, and soon attribute it all to their own hard work and talent. (p. 78) Have you seen this? Where?Through most of his ministry, Jesus had remarkable success healing people and preaching to large crowds. How did he react to his fame?If you were teaching a class of younger people how to react to success, what would you say?

Study questions: chapter seven: On Top of the World, Part 2

Read 2 Samuel 6,7

Do you think David had political reasons for bringing the ark to Jerusalem, his new capital? If so, what?Do you think he had personal reasons for wanting the ark there? If so, what?David goes instantly from celebration to anger when Uzzah touches the ark and falls down dead. What do you think of David’s reaction?Many people share David’s reaction: they consider God unbearably harsh with Uzzah. Can you explain God’s reaction? If God is emphasizing something he considers fundamentally important, what do you think it is?David is so outraged, he dumps the ark on a rural farm. Later he changes his mind, so that he ultimately brings the ark to Jerusalem. What produced this change of heart?What do you think of Michal’s eruption when she sees David? Why is she so upset by his dancing?Leaders sometimes become obsessed with their image. Whose opinion does David cherish? (2 Samuel 6:21,22)What can and should we do to honor God when we experience success?Why does God not want David to build him a temple? What fault in David does he pinpoint?The Old Testament is sometimes very bloody, with God commanding his people to fight. How do you put that together with God’s rejection of David as a man of blood?How does David respond to God’s rejection of his temple plans?How can you cultivate thankfulness with humility?

Study questions: chapter eight: Government by Words

Read at least five psalms “of David”

David and David’s Son mentions three documents that are crucial to America’s self-understanding. What are they? How have they influenced your thinking? How have they influenced America?David is credited with half the psalms. How did they influence the nation David led?We find plenty of poetry in the books of the prophets. What sets David’s psalms apart from these?The book of Psalms was Israel’s hymnbook. What differences do you notice between the words of the psalms and the words of our contemporary church music?David and David’s Son says, “Without the Psalms, the Bible would be a very different book.” (p. 98) How would it be different? What would be lacking?Jesus was not a poet, but he used words powerfully to lead his people. What are some of Jesus’ words that have had a lasting impact?Why do you think Jesus quoted from two of the psalms while on the cross? Why borrow words from David?How would you like to improve the way you talk?If David led his nation through his psalms, what kind of leadership could you provide in your church, family, workplace or neighborhood simply by the way you speak?

Study questions: chapter nine: Midlife

Read Psalm 51; 2 Samuel 11,12

Can you identify with David’s decision to stay home from work? How might such “slacker” decisions impact you personally and spiritually?What do you think of the idea that David was depressed because he had no more mountains to climb?If David wanted to maintain his character, what should he have done when he saw Bathsheba and lusted for her?Do you agree that David’s actions amounted to sexual assault? Why or why not?Why do you think David tried to hide his actions from Uriah? Surely nobody would have questioned him—he was the king.Given the magnificent way David proclaimed his integrity before God in numerous psalms, what do you think it did to him to be involved in Uriah’s murder?Nathan’s prophetic courage: where did it come from? What makes somebody willing to risk his life to confront a leader?Why do you think David was able to accept Nathan’s indictment of his sin?What would you prescribe to prevent midlife crisis? Could David have lived his life differently to protect against his downfall?

Study questions: chapter ten: Guilt Paralysis

Read 2 Samuel 13,14

Have you seen somebody paralyzed by guilt? What kind of life events can lead to that?David and David’s Son notes that 1 and 2 Samuel gives several examples of the sons of leaders going bad. (p. 114) What problems come with being raised in the palace?David is furious when he learns that his son has raped his daughter. Why doesn’t David do anything?Absalom, unburdened by a guilty conscience, murders his brother in cold blood. What is David’s reaction?David and David’s Son suggests that David sees himself in Absalom—both murderers—so David can’t condemn Absalom without condemning himself. Have you ever seen that kind of twisted guilt in operation? What kind of offspring does such parenting produce?Families of addicts often experience guilt, feeling responsible for the addiction. What similarities do you see between an addict’s family’s co-dependence and David’s treatment of Absalom?How would you describe Jesus’ treatment of Judas? Did he feel guilty for his disciple’s moral failures? Did he confront him?What would you imagine happening if David had talked to Absalom the way that Jesus did to Judas? Do you think that would have made any difference in Absalom’s behavior?How common do you think guilt is in our society? What difference does it make in people’s behavior?What keeps guilt-laden people from confessing to a friend?

Study questions: chapter eleven: The Very Worst That Can Happen

Read: 2 Samuel 15:1-19:8

How would you describe the worst tragedy possible for a wealthy, successful, powerful person?What is the worst thing that ever happened to you or your family? How did it affect you?David and David’s Son suggests that David was depressed, neglecting his position in government and allowing Absalom to “steal the hearts of the men of Israel.” (p. 121) What evidence do you see for and against this hypothesis?Why does David run from Absalom instead of fighting?Jesus’ via dolorosa out of Jerusalem has many similarities to David’s escape: both men barefoot, cursed as they go, surrounded by weeping followers. Both men are kings rejected by their people. What are the primary differences?Why do you think David was so ambivalent about fighting his murderous son Absalom?When he learns Absalom’s fate, David cries, “If only I had died instead of you!” Is he thinking of the recent battle, or of Nathan saying, “You are not going to die” even before Absalom was born? (2 Samuel 12:13)David’s cry is reminiscent of suicidal thinking: if I were gone, everybody would be better off. What would have happened to Israel had David died?David and David’s Son says, “When your life shatters, your only hope is that others will help pick up your pieces.” (p. 127) Who would you count on to pick up your pieces?The story of David and Absalom is depressing and has no happy ending. Why do you think it is included in the Bible?David fell from the top of the world to a place he experienced as hell on earth. What have you learned from following his journey?

Study questions: chapter twelve: Restoration

Read: 2 Samuel 19:9-43, 20

What’s the most disappointing homecoming you can remember? What made it unsatisfying?David’s return to Jerusalem seems less than triumphant. What, to you, are its most disheartening features?If you had been in Israel, would you have joyfully welcomed back the runaway king? Why or why not?David’s forgiveness of Shimei is magnanimous. What do you think motivated him to forgive and forget?David’s treatment of his concubines is a monument to hard-heartedness. Why do you think he was so harsh?David and David’s Son makes the point that David’s greatest achievement—unifying the tribes of Israel—barely outlived him, while his poetry, perhaps viewed as a harmless hobby, lives vibrantly to this day. What do you think will prove to be your most lasting achievement?After his resurrection, Jesus meets disciples who badly failed under pressure. What does he say to them? (See John 21:10-19)Do you think it is significant that Jesus never reproves them for their failures? Why or why not?“David’s story is nested in Israel’s story, which is nested in Jesus’ story, whish is God’s story of the whole world, including every one of us. We live our lives nested in God’s story. He is the storyteller.” (p. 133) What does it mean to you that your life is nested in God’s story?How can you become more aware that your life story is part of God’s story?

Study questions: chapter thirteen: David is Dying

Read: 1 Kings 1,2

What do you fear most about growing old?What do you hope people will remember about you at your funeral?In his final years, David the vibrant shepherd boy has become so feeble he can’t even keep warm. How does that make you feel?David’s life story ends with his final words to his son and heir Solomon. If you were writing the story, what would you like him to say?Why do you think David’s last words deal with revenge? Why has he harbored this anger?How can you avoid an ending like David’s, “grinding on memories of being cursed and abused?”Why do you think David’s historian wants to include this violent and revengeful ending to his life? What is the point?What exactly do you think Scripture means when it refers to David as “a man after God’s own heart?”David and David’s Son concludes that David is a royal mixture, showing the power of God to use all kinds of material to tell his story. “God is bigger than David’s smallness.” How would you sum up David’s part in God’s bigger story?“When we study David, we have opportunity to see ourselves.” What aspects of David’s life do you want to emulate? What avoid?