8 Ways to Not Overreact and Remain Unbothered | Lessons in Elegance

 

In my last video on being polished and elegant, many of you requested an in-depth discussion on how to not overreact. How do we remain unbothered and keep our cool when we are actually feeling very heated? Elegant people don't blow a gasket when they are angry. I'm sharing 8 ideas in today's video that will help you keep calm and remain classy... no matter what. 

  1. When you are angry and prone to overreacting… pause. Do nothing and see what happens. 
“Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you're about to react harshly and you'll avoid doing and saying things you'll later regret.”― Lori Deschene 
 2. Analyze how you react to situations, because awareness is the first step: Novelist, Ellen Glasgow said, “What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.” 
Become conscious about how you react to situations. Epictetus said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” 
These quotes are powerful because we can’t control what happens to us. That is out of our control. What we can control is our reaction to these events. Notice patterns in your overreactions… is it with a specific person? Are you triggered by their mere presence? If so, notice that and be extra calm and vigilant around them. Know your triggers. 
3. Use their negativity as a motivator for you. Andy Warhol has been a major inspiration for me in this area. He dismissed his critics as not knowing what they were talking about and kept on making art. You do the same and allow other people's negativity to be a motivator for you. 
4. Never respond to someone when you are angry. I found some great Chinese proverbs on this one: Anger is always more harmful than the insult that caused it. (Chinese Proverb) Never answer a letter while you are angry. • In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone 's letter. • If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. 
5. Gain control of your tongue. This requires self-discipline. Proverbs 21:23 KJV Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles 
6. Don’t neglect yourself. If you are sleep-deprived, not taking care of yourself, not eating well… you can easily become a man or woman on the brink. You are going to be extra sensitive and touchy. Take time every day to care for yourself. Afternoon tea, a quiet walk in the garden, time to read a book or paint or do what you love. Refer to my video on not losing yourself as an adult. When you feel a general happiness with your life, you won’t be so touchy to others. 
7. Look at the big picture. When you are panicking about society… (and you know I love to panic about society), look at the big picture. I had a lightbulb moment when I was talking to Richard Thompson Ford, the author of Dress Codes. When we were looking at the history of fashion, I decided to be less judgmental about modern dressing sense. I mean, most of it still hurts my eyes, but I have chosen to take a proactive stance on the channel by offering content that can hopefully inspire people to dress better... and that is all I can do. 
 8. If you pray...Pray! – We are not all the same with our spiritual lives, but if you are a person of faith and pray... don't forget to pray when you feel inclined to overreact! You will receive that peace that passes understanding and often get clarity. If you don't pray, do some practice that is meaningful to you that will help you to calm down.
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I hope you enjoyed this latest lesson on Elegance. Let us know how you avoid overreacting and your comment could be chosen as comment of the week on the blog. Have a wonderful day and I'll see you on Thursday!
Love,
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