Candle magic for shadow work and breaking trauma bonds
Have you ever wondered why people stay miserably married for a long period of time? Or, why we seem to tolerate certain behaviors from the people we think we love. We may break up with them, say to ourselves that enough is enough. However, they creep back into our lives, and we tell ourselves that things are going to be different this time around. We then justify their bad behavior, until the entire cycle starts again. The belittling, the gaslighting, the invalidation. We fail to realize that we are being manipulated by our abusers, and that we have established a trauma bond that is so strong, we can’t pull away from them. However, with the use of shadow work, we can finally break free from our captors, and begin to live a life, free from abuse, manipulation, and apathy.
Is shadow work evil
People do not realize how important shadow work is. They really don’t understand that if you don’t dibble and dabble into the dark side, the darkness will eventually consume you. What do I mean by that? Well, if you don’t work on your shit and overcome your own weaknesses. You will attract people into your life who will exploit those weaknesses. It seems that somewhere down the line, we humans forgot that we are subjected to the rules of nature. And much like nature our relationships contract and expands much like how the moons waxes and wanes. We often subconsciously attract certain people into our lives, to teach us lessons about ourselves. Or, in the most ideal situations, we attract certain people into our lives to help us heal. However, society has turned into a cult of wokeness and toxic positivity. We are discouraged from negativity and confronting the darkness that lies doormat inside. As a result of this, we remain trapped in trauma bonds and ensnared in the patterns of abusive relationships.
How to do shadow work for beginners
We’ve seen the trauma bond all throughout history, in the stories of the Greek gods, and even in Disney movies. Perhaps one of the most popular is Beauty in the Beast. Where an odd girl, searches the forest, looking for her father. Only to learn that he had been imprisoned by a hideous beast. Beale, being selfless and loving, offers to take her father’s place. And the Beast, along with his doting staff decide to woo her with parties, food, and dancing. They all work diligently to break the spell that turned an arrogant handsome prince, into an ugly beast. The concept of trauma bonds can also be seen in HBO’s hit series, Game of Thrones. Daenarys Targaryen, a surviving princess of a massacred clan, is forced to marry, Khal Drogo, a beast and ruler of a tribal army, who are seen to be savaged and uncivilized. In the beginning, Danny serves as his prisoner and at midnight, his sex slave. Until she puts it on him. He later vow to sail across the vast see, to take back the Iron Throne for Daenerys, putting the Targaryen's back in power again.
The story of Persephone and Hades
However, the most ancient story about trauma bonds may have begun in Greek Mythology, with Hades and Persephone. It was love at first sight, at least for Hades. The moment he set eyes on the daughter of Zues and Demeter, he knew that he had to have her. The only issue was that Demeter, wouldn’t allow her daughter to marry the god of the underworld. So, Zues along with Hades came up with an amazing plan. They would kidnap her. They both waited until Demeter and Persephone visited the earthly plane. Hades planted a beautiful flower in one of the gardens, and when Persephone plucked it, he knew that she had fallen into his trap. The earth quaked as Hades rode out on his chariot led by black horses. He snatches her up and takes Persephone to the underworld, leaving Demeter distraught and devastated. Demeter is driven mad by the disappearance of her daughter and neglects her duties. The plants weakened, animals' die, and soon the earthly plane is burdened by a disasters plague. In the end, Zues decided to appease Demeter. He promised to bring Persephone back, if it could be proven that Hades was holding her against her will. Once summoned, Persephone confided that she was indeed in love with Hades and wanted to remain in the underworld with him.
Trauma bonds explained and how to break them
Now, I know what you’re thinking, all of these stories have somewhat happy endings. However, the part that you’re missing is that all these women were forced into a relationship. It wasn’t their choice. Then, they would be forced to, cajole, submit and even love their captor. Most people would think that these are all stories that involved Stockholm syndrome. In truth, they all involved trauma bonds. Trauma bonds are different from soul ties, because there is not an immediate attraction. With trauma bonds, people latch on to their captors, because they realized that they have to take on certain behaviors in order to survive. Women learned that they could avoid a great deal of pain if they simply appease their masters, as opposed to resisting them. They learned to be better lovers, to praise, or to even stroke the egos of their oppressors. As a result, they get rewarded. Hades built beautiful gardens for Persephone. Khal Drogo gave Danny a beautiful white horse. And the Beast invited Beale to a beautiful candlelight dinner.
Trauma bonds and soul ties
Now here’s where it gets a little tricky, because unlike a soul tie, a trauma bond doesn’t have to be completely bad. Great things can happen when the captors truly fall in love. By doing this, they stop treating their victims like their slaves or prisoners and start to treat them like their equals. The Beast was willing to let go of Beale, because he was more concerned about her own happiness than breaking the spell. Khal Drogo was willing to fight and even die for Danny’s honor. And Hades, was willing to let go of Persephone, trusting that she will make the decision to come back to him in the end. These stories are three of many examples of people transmuting negative energy into positive energy. They are in a sense, using the art and science of alchemy to make their relationships better. And as a result, they are learning about themselves, and evolving into a better person in the process. However, when the process of alchemy doesn’t occur. Both people in a relationship will devolve.
Trauma bonds in abusive relationships
These are people who are stuck in primal relationships. Where their whole relationship is seen as a means of survival. This means that people literally cannot survive without their spouse or partner. Sadly, we have all inherited those cave man and cave woman genes, where we feel like we are physically dependent on each other for our survival. And if we pull away, we panic, and feel as if we are dying ourselves. Trauma bonds force us to put up with mistreatment, and even abuse. We do this, believing taking a few punches is the price that we must pay to save the relationship. However, we fail to realize that we are constantly being manipulated and shuffled about as someone’s pawn. Also, we give our captors, full control of not only the relationship, but also over our happiness. They can be cruel to us one day, throw us a couple of crumbs another day, all in the pursuit of bringing about happiness.
Trauma bonding between parent and child
Trauma bonds most often occur in relationships that are not chosen. They are most often established between a care-taker and a child. As a result, the child grows up and repeats the patterns of behavior in their own relationships. They will either be the captor, or the victim. This is where shadow work comes in. This is a process where a therapist or a healer can dive deeply into the subconscious mind, to find the original wound. The original wound is the pain point that sent you flying head first into dysfunctional and trauma inflicted relationships. Eckhart Tolle calls this wound, the pain body. The pain body is a repository of all the pent-up energy and pain in the body. The pain body works much like a parasite, needing to feed on more pain in order to get sustenance. As a result, we are driven from one bad relationship to another, because we crave the familiarity and pain that those relationships produce. However, we can free ourselves from all of this, by doing candle magic.
Candle magic and how does it work
You can start by purchasing two candles. One white, one black. Placed the black candle on the right, white candle on the left. Wait until the sun sets. As the sun sets, light the black candle first, white one second. Visualize breaking the trauma bond, remember, it’s important to feel the pain. Then, focus on manifesting a new, healthier relationship. Let yourself feel the emotions, feel the joy and the pain, as this will help with your manifestation process. You can perform this ritual on a full moon, for best results. Or, when you feel like you need some additional help to break away from that toxic person.
We can break trauma bonds by healing the original wound and thus ending the subconscious desire for pain and dysfunction.
Is shadow work evil
People do not realize how important shadow work is. They really don’t understand that if you don’t dibble and dabble into the dark side, the darkness will eventually consume you. What do I mean by that? Well, if you don’t work on your shit and overcome your own weaknesses. You will attract people into your life who will exploit those weaknesses. It seems that somewhere down the line, we humans forgot that we are subjected to the rules of nature. And much like nature our relationships contract and expands much like how the moons waxes and wanes. We often subconsciously attract certain people into our lives, to teach us lessons about ourselves. Or, in the most ideal situations, we attract certain people into our lives to help us heal. However, society has turned into a cult of wokeness and toxic positivity. We are discouraged from negativity and confronting the darkness that lies doormat inside. As a result of this, we remain trapped in trauma bonds and ensnared in the patterns of abusive relationships.
How to do shadow work for beginners
We’ve seen the trauma bond all throughout history, in the stories of the Greek gods, and even in Disney movies. Perhaps one of the most popular is Beauty in the Beast. Where an odd girl, searches the forest, looking for her father. Only to learn that he had been imprisoned by a hideous beast. Beale, being selfless and loving, offers to take her father’s place. And the Beast, along with his doting staff decide to woo her with parties, food, and dancing. They all work diligently to break the spell that turned an arrogant handsome prince, into an ugly beast. The concept of trauma bonds can also be seen in HBO’s hit series, Game of Thrones. Daenarys Targaryen, a surviving princess of a massacred clan, is forced to marry, Khal Drogo, a beast and ruler of a tribal army, who are seen to be savaged and uncivilized. In the beginning, Danny serves as his prisoner and at midnight, his sex slave. Until she puts it on him. He later vow to sail across the vast see, to take back the Iron Throne for Daenerys, putting the Targaryen's back in power again.
The story of Persephone and Hades
However, the most ancient story about trauma bonds may have begun in Greek Mythology, with Hades and Persephone. It was love at first sight, at least for Hades. The moment he set eyes on the daughter of Zues and Demeter, he knew that he had to have her. The only issue was that Demeter, wouldn’t allow her daughter to marry the god of the underworld. So, Zues along with Hades came up with an amazing plan. They would kidnap her. They both waited until Demeter and Persephone visited the earthly plane. Hades planted a beautiful flower in one of the gardens, and when Persephone plucked it, he knew that she had fallen into his trap. The earth quaked as Hades rode out on his chariot led by black horses. He snatches her up and takes Persephone to the underworld, leaving Demeter distraught and devastated. Demeter is driven mad by the disappearance of her daughter and neglects her duties. The plants weakened, animals' die, and soon the earthly plane is burdened by a disasters plague. In the end, Zues decided to appease Demeter. He promised to bring Persephone back, if it could be proven that Hades was holding her against her will. Once summoned, Persephone confided that she was indeed in love with Hades and wanted to remain in the underworld with him.
Trauma bonds explained and how to break them
Now, I know what you’re thinking, all of these stories have somewhat happy endings. However, the part that you’re missing is that all these women were forced into a relationship. It wasn’t their choice. Then, they would be forced to, cajole, submit and even love their captor. Most people would think that these are all stories that involved Stockholm syndrome. In truth, they all involved trauma bonds. Trauma bonds are different from soul ties, because there is not an immediate attraction. With trauma bonds, people latch on to their captors, because they realized that they have to take on certain behaviors in order to survive. Women learned that they could avoid a great deal of pain if they simply appease their masters, as opposed to resisting them. They learned to be better lovers, to praise, or to even stroke the egos of their oppressors. As a result, they get rewarded. Hades built beautiful gardens for Persephone. Khal Drogo gave Danny a beautiful white horse. And the Beast invited Beale to a beautiful candlelight dinner.
Trauma bonds and soul ties
Now here’s where it gets a little tricky, because unlike a soul tie, a trauma bond doesn’t have to be completely bad. Great things can happen when the captors truly fall in love. By doing this, they stop treating their victims like their slaves or prisoners and start to treat them like their equals. The Beast was willing to let go of Beale, because he was more concerned about her own happiness than breaking the spell. Khal Drogo was willing to fight and even die for Danny’s honor. And Hades, was willing to let go of Persephone, trusting that she will make the decision to come back to him in the end. These stories are three of many examples of people transmuting negative energy into positive energy. They are in a sense, using the art and science of alchemy to make their relationships better. And as a result, they are learning about themselves, and evolving into a better person in the process. However, when the process of alchemy doesn’t occur. Both people in a relationship will devolve.
Trauma bonds in abusive relationships
These are people who are stuck in primal relationships. Where their whole relationship is seen as a means of survival. This means that people literally cannot survive without their spouse or partner. Sadly, we have all inherited those cave man and cave woman genes, where we feel like we are physically dependent on each other for our survival. And if we pull away, we panic, and feel as if we are dying ourselves. Trauma bonds force us to put up with mistreatment, and even abuse. We do this, believing taking a few punches is the price that we must pay to save the relationship. However, we fail to realize that we are constantly being manipulated and shuffled about as someone’s pawn. Also, we give our captors, full control of not only the relationship, but also over our happiness. They can be cruel to us one day, throw us a couple of crumbs another day, all in the pursuit of bringing about happiness.
Trauma bonding between parent and child
Trauma bonds most often occur in relationships that are not chosen. They are most often established between a care-taker and a child. As a result, the child grows up and repeats the patterns of behavior in their own relationships. They will either be the captor, or the victim. This is where shadow work comes in. This is a process where a therapist or a healer can dive deeply into the subconscious mind, to find the original wound. The original wound is the pain point that sent you flying head first into dysfunctional and trauma inflicted relationships. Eckhart Tolle calls this wound, the pain body. The pain body is a repository of all the pent-up energy and pain in the body. The pain body works much like a parasite, needing to feed on more pain in order to get sustenance. As a result, we are driven from one bad relationship to another, because we crave the familiarity and pain that those relationships produce. However, we can free ourselves from all of this, by doing candle magic.
Candle magic and how does it work
You can start by purchasing two candles. One white, one black. Placed the black candle on the right, white candle on the left. Wait until the sun sets. As the sun sets, light the black candle first, white one second. Visualize breaking the trauma bond, remember, it’s important to feel the pain. Then, focus on manifesting a new, healthier relationship. Let yourself feel the emotions, feel the joy and the pain, as this will help with your manifestation process. You can perform this ritual on a full moon, for best results. Or, when you feel like you need some additional help to break away from that toxic person.
We can break trauma bonds by healing the original wound and thus ending the subconscious desire for pain and dysfunction.
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