Do We Have the Power to Make Ourselves Feel Better?

A passage from Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of Now, states something about holding on to the false belief that the past is more powerful than the present. Ponder that. How many of us let ourselves get trapped playing the "victim" to our past?

I realize some folks had pretty crappy pasts. I get it. Crappy childhoods. Crappy marriages. Crappy divorces. Crappy whatever.

How long do you let that rule you?

I absolutely understand that some people had horrendous things happen to them in the past, child abuse, rape, war refugees, etc and I do not take anything lightly. I also know that some people are still holding on to comments someone made about them in the 5th grade and they won't let it go. Whatever it is that you are holding on to, you have the power to let it go.

There is a proverb, or maybe it's a Will Rogers quote, that reads: Do not let yesterday use up too much of today.

Where are you? In yesterday or today?

I cannot tell you how many people I meet who stew over past events. They spend hours mulling over a conversation in their heads and wish they would have said the perfect comeback.

Unless the comeback is "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you" or "I love you", is there really any point?

Instead of staying stuck in the muck of the past, consider focusing energy on the right here, right now. Let's do an experiment. Right here, right now, rate yourself on the "feel good" scale with 1 being "Life is miserable" to 10 being "Happy as a clam although I never met a clam, happy or otherwise, and I simply trust they're happy."

How do you rate?

When you start to find your thoughts drifting to the past and you feel yourself getting all worked up again about something from long ago and far away, rate yourself on the feel good scale.

Does hanging out in the past feel good? Would you rather feel higher up the scale?

When you catch yourself dwelling in muck, you can physically do things to get you out of that place and bring yourself back to the here and now. My silly solutions are rooted in the serious.

The first thing you can do is pop yourself upside the head, a la Cher and Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck: Snap out of it! I thump myself on the head and have given others a loving thump.

We have a million gazillion thoughts racing through our brains all the time. Start practicing your catch and release technique. If a thought makes you feel like crap, throw it back. If it comes back again, physically push it away with your hand. I have waved both hands in front of me saying control, alt, delete to wash away those thoughts.

Being aware that it is just a thought, and you don't have to think it right now, is tremendously powerful.

Depending where you are when a "bad" thought tries to sneak in your precious mind, drop down and do a push up. Jumping jacks. Jump up and down like a jumping bean.

Get a mini-trampoline and bounce.

It's fun, and there is science to back me up. The physical act creates new chemicals in the brain. We have our own internal pharmacology (thank you, Dr. Lee Berk, for that phrase) and we can create positive emotions.

If you had a choice, and you do, would you rather feel negative emotions or positive ones?

To create more positive ones in your life, you can walk. 26 minutes. You can do any kind of exercise. Punching a bag (pretty pink gloves optional) does wonders. Pull weeds. Any kind of yard work or housework.

You don't have to enroll in a training program for a marathon (that does it for many people though), a walk in the woods is just as beneficial.

Even stepping outside and breathing fresh air, no matter the weather, can be enough to snap you out of the then and bring you back to the now.

The power is in the right now. Whatever happened in the past, those people or events cannot hurt you right now. Your precious self is in your hands now. You can take care of you.

Eckhart Tolle says: "The truth is that the only power there is, is contained within this moment. You are responsible for your inner space now. No one else is. The past cannot prevail against the power of the Now."

When you notice your happy scale deflating, pay attention to where your thoughts are. Are you focusing on the now, or are you rehashing the past? Bring yourself up the happy meter by listening to music, doing a dance move in your office or kitchen, waving and winking at yourself in the mirror, (blow yourself a kiss if you are really bold), blow a party horn to vent your frustration, blow bubbles, squeeze Silly Putty or Play Doh. Color. Doodle.

Let your imagination go. There are many easy ways you can lift yourself up that don't cost money, don't take much time, and yet you are shifting your energy. You are making yourself feel better, even if you didn't believe it was possible.

Who knows, maybe you'll even pry open a clam and ask just how happy it is. Perhaps we can start a new model-Happy as a human!