Unexpecting: Joy and Grief in the Book Launch

My silence is not acceptance. Unexpecting Interview with Rachel Whalen

Unexpecting: Joy and Grief in the Book Launch

Balancing joy and grief in my Unexpecting book launch.

There is a dream that has kept me motivated as I wrote and pursued publishing for my book, Unexpecting …

More specific than the dream of making a difference.

More vivid than the dream of helping someone else.

More concrete than the dream to pave the way for others coming behind.

It’s a dream of not just writing a book on pregnancy loss — but the dream of launching it.

Of standing in front of friends, family members, acquaintances, and professionals, and holding my book. Reading a section. And saying, “Thank you. Thanks for supporting me. Thank you for believing this book has a space in the world. Thank you for standing with bereaved parents.”

It’s this dream that propelled me when I received more than 20 individual rejections from publishers over the span of two years.

It’s the vision that kept me focused when I was weary and exhausted, and desperately needed sleep — but I had a deadline to meet.

It’s the focus I kept with the book was an abstract idea that had so little meat, nothing of substance to say, “I am real. I am here.”

And now — this dream is here.

This Tuesday, whether I feel fully ready or not, I will be standing in front of friends, acquaintances, professionals, family members, and readers. I will read the words I labored over. I will be candid about my process. I will offer the giveaways that have been so generously given to me. And I will help give this book to the pregnancy loss organization which gave to me when I was at my most vulnerable.

All of this scares me. Thrills me. Stresses me. Encourages me.

You may have noticed I’ve talked a lot about it on social media. I always feel somewhat weird sharing about it because, well, it seems weird to get excited about a book on loss. It seems counterintuitive to celebrate a book I wish no one needed and I wished I never needed to write. It seems selfish to say, I’m so proud of my diligence when another parent is fresh in the grief of their loss.

It is hard to hold in tension both the pride of finishing what I set out to do, excitement that the words I’ve longed to share are finally in print — and devastation that anyone, ever, should need my book.

I don’t want anyone to need it. And yet — I’m so very thankful that it’s here when they do.

I’m thankful I pushed past 23 rejections to the 1 yes.

I’m grateful I worked through a pandemic and a foster care reunification and I met my goal in turning in a manuscript.

I’m proud of not only my work, but that of the entire team, including my focus group, leadership team, and launch group, which has been a huge blessing to be a part of. Whatever gift it is to meet my goal pales to the gift of working with others to reach said goal.

So — when I invite you to attend my launch either in person or virtually, please know, this event is not a small event for me, even though it will be intimate. It’s a dream I held onto to help propel my book from dream to reality. It’s a graduation of sorts for me — a celebration of ten years of writing on my blog — and turning from contracted author to published author. It’s a hope realized — that when someone else walks through loss, they’ll have a hand to hold to know they are not alone.

So yes, I celebrate. And I also, mourn.

Just as I have all the years leading up to this moment.

Just as I will for all the years to come.

Thank you for taking this journey with me,

Rachel

You are invited to my book launch for Unexpecting!

Get early access to Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss and have your book personally signed by me! In addition to my first official book reading, we’ll have a live author Q&A, exciting giveaways, swag bags, and more. Proceeds from raffle giveaways will benefit bereaved families through MEND (see below.)

Both in-person and virtual tickets are available. Today is the last day to purchase!

Tue, July 27, 2021
6:00 PM – 8:00 PM PDT

Hood Canal Vista Pavilion
4740 View Drive Northeast
Port Gamble, WA 98364

Raffle proceeds will benefit Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death (MEND). I’ll be raising funds to donate books to the NW Washington chapter of MEND, and as I’m able, to chapters across the country.

Thank you for your support for bereaved families — and thanks for joining me for this exciting evening.