WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Narrative Flow in a Sci-Fi Opening

Critique by Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Seven

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through September 11.

This week’s questions:

1. Does this opening work?

2. Does this page start the story with a strong enough premise to interest the reader?

3. There is no dialogue with another human so is the internalization effective?

Market/Genre: Science Fiction

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com