This Is Why You Aren’t “Good Enough” For Some People
People value each other according to the values they have in life.
People treat each other the way they treat themselves.
Even if you are the rarest flower, to the one that has no knowledge of flowers you are worthless. You are just like any other flower. But to the one that has a knowledge and understanding of flowers you are one of the most valuable things in life.
If Rob values money the most, for him a deep, beautiful, smart human without money, has less value than the one with a lot of money. He will treat the ones who have more money better. That doesn’t mean Rob is making a good choice or has the right behavior, that simply defines him and how people in his life get treated including himself.
If Samantha values a man with a corporate job, for her an entrepreneur who is making millions from selling a bottle cap might not be interesting enough.
Connection is formed when there is a shared value system and interests.
You might think you get connected to people with different value systems. From a broader standpoint we are all interconnected, but on a person to person level you might like and be attracted to a person, but deep connection is only formed and sustained if value system is shared.
The values we have are like MRI scanners. We put people through them, if it matches they become our people. All of this is mostly unconscious and we do it automatically.
We are always judging and making assumptions. Walk in the street and observe your mind “I like this guy, this dog is ugly, where is my phone, why is this guy walking so slowly, my feet hurts, this kid will fall, everyone is in their phones, it smells so good, should I eat something, that woman was so rude yesterday…” and our minds never stop.
That’s why you should take control over your mind. But please don’t try to stop your thoughts. Quitting cold turkey won’t work on your thoughts. Just replace them with better ones.
Thoughts come and go without asking you. What you can do is to choose the right thoughts. Right thoughts are the ones that help us feel great, that helps us grow and contributes to the healing of the world and ourselves. When the thought arises you can decide to give it a power by focusing on it or take its power by letting it flow.
One thing I used to do and still do is to change the messages my brain was getting during the day. If you observe the billboards in the city, the majority of them are negative. When I am driving and I see a sign “Injured?” “Divorced?” “Car Crash” I knew all these words were subconsciously programming my mind and helping my ANTS (automatic negative thoughts). So every time I saw a word that I knew would have an unconscious negative impact on me I would close my eyes and imagine the billboard with a different word “Loved?” “Rich” “abundance?” “celebrated”, “Enough”.
At this point I don’t even need to close my eyes I can immediately change and replace the words in my mind. Now the focus words are contributing to my growth and healing rather than making me anxious.
You can use it on everything. Change the words and thoughts that doesn’t serve you with the ones that bring value. Don’t be rude to yourself and to your thoughts. Welcome them when they come and let them flow. You can even talk to it. I used to say “Hello thoughts I see you are here and you think you are protecting me, but at this moment you aren’t serving me so I choose to let you flow” everytime I got negative thoughts.
You can be loving to yourself, be patient and give it a time to change the lifetime of habbits and thinking patterns. Change won’t come in a second. When you think that you have failed and that there is no point to any of this, remember what Thomas Edison said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” “I didn’t fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps.”
Maybe your healing has 1000 steps or even more. Don’t put a time limit on your healing. Small consistent right choices will take you way farther than inconsistent big ones.
Love yourself and because you love it so much do what’s better for it.
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