WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Narrative Flow in an Opening Scene

Critique by Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Five

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through August 14.

This week’s questions:

1. The main threat hasn’t materialized yet, but do you get the sense that something interesting might happen soon? In other words, does it pique your curiosity enough to keep reading?

2. Is the POV character’s voice coming across?

3. How is the balance between dialogue, internalization, and description? My writing tends to be short on description, but I’m worried I may have gone overboard and now have too much.

Market/Genre: Science Fiction

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com