Dear Authors: No more post-vomit kissing scenes, please
I am reading Winter Town right now for my May column and there is a scene that gave me serious pause. The protagonists are two teens who grew up together and have come to a point where their long friendship is transitioning to romance. Okay, that's pretty standard in the YA world. Lucy is going through a rough time and Evan is there for her, just like he has always been. In fact, they share a tender moment after Evan helps Lucy through a particularly awkward moment when she is visiting his house for Christmas and, either because she has been drinking or she is bulimic or she is just completely stressed out, Lucy races to the bathroom so she can spend a few minutes throwing up. Evan is sympathetic, Evan is concerned, Evan looks at Lucy and Lucy looks at Evan and they kiss.
She apologizes for throwing up first, of course.
In my vast experience with vomiting (both my own and others) I have never, not once, seen a moment where someone feels overwhelmed with passion after throwing up. And honestly if the vomiter did feel that way, I can't see who on earth would want to kiss them in that moment. Seriously. IT'S NOT SEXY AND WE ALL KNOW IT.
What annoys me so much about this is that as a reader, it derails me from the narrative in a major way. I'm reading along, wondering what is going on with Lucy, how many times Evan will have to get hit over the head before he realizes he has a crush on her and then, well, then all I can think about is how disgusting it would be to put your tongue inside the mouth of someone else mere moments after they were done throwing up. Just like that Lucy and Evan are dead to me. Clearly there is no way I could possibly identify with them - I find vomit to be unpleasant (and sometimes nausea inducing when it is done right in front of you) and yet these these two characters are apparently able to be turned on by it. (Okay, that isn't fair but you get my point.)
Winter Town is not the first book to have a scene like this one but after reading it last night I just had enough. I will return to the book and finish it and review it and not beat the author up (much) over this scene but I felt compelled to draw a line in the sand here. Vomit is not about romance, folks, and we really need to stop pretending that it ever could be. Really. Let the girl go home, brush her teeth and clean up before she kisses someone. PLEASE.
