The lesson et why I write (biggest question )
Its morning et I cannot for the sake of my brain open another book!
I really cannot.
I have got two books piled up et truth is I will probably have no publication for July 
So, so, so let’s get to it shall we?
All of my books has already been written. For past 18-20 months. That’s why I am able to bring forth the creativity of my blatant depression of past 2 years. I write my great pains away,
that was Then.
Now, we’ll now I’m balanced so truth is when a woman is balanced so little can happen 
well wait for it…
Only if she is a writer.“I find for me being hurt, angst, anxious, upset in all ways, messed up, fed up, had it up enough, utterly betrayed, profondément malheureux, tired of people sorts, works well for me, when writing book to book.”
Truth it is.
So to all that had the privilege of doing so, merci, thank you, bless you. All, everyone whom hath given me such pain, it was simply an opportunity to be better, henceforth I wrote so much.
Because I felt so much. I was emerged in a pond of excessive feeling. I could of drowned. Like really so, but as words would hear me whisper, my pain for life was apparent, it was the ink to my Mont Blanc.Hence, I bled my hurt to papier.
It’s hard work when you decide to stop et feel. I understand why a lot of you numb yourselves to not feel. But then what’s the point of such dearest?
Strick truth, We live to feel, not to eat or be on the cover of Forbes, or to acquire so much that you sit alone in a mansion with a bag of Hermès full of lies.
No sweet darling, they lied to you, happiness is your dream, to be happy. It may not happen as you wish, as it is so difficult to be happy.
I beg, don’t tell me to walk outside et smell roses, please don’t, gee even my husband knows better.
example:
Me:
“Shaikh i really, like really, Want, I need a green house pleaseeeeeeeee!”
My husband:
“Kaayyyy you hate the outdoors, bugs and flies et wildlife.”Say no more darling, that was all I needed to hear et I closed that door as quickly as I opened it.
See?
Don’t waste your time smelling roses.
Roses are merely placed to attract you to the lesson et some apparent reason smelling roses they don’t make you happy.
Silly adults.
But the lessons is,
“There are no roses without thorns.”
In this life, as a person, a mother, a wife, I have learnt that I am going to feel et look at everything that no one wants to. Et it will hurt me. Clearly being a writer, fine print is pain. And more pain, bloddy reality.
Not an easy task really.
RS
