As We Sit Down to Consider the Unthinkable and the Unknowable

Philip Guston, "White House" (1971)
In the end, there is no beginning. Everything has always starts long before we realize it.

We have now moved but a week since the day Trump was informally elected President of the United States,* and it seems as if my entire life has occurred since those dark hours. As the realization of the end game congealed in my head, a huge sense of dread permeated my body. Only sleep took it away, and I dream dreams that are mostly nightmares but always rich and interesting. Still, upon awaking that Wednesday morning, it was not my dreams I was awaking from but from the election of such a simply pointless and empty person. The dread returned hard and fastened itself to my consciousness.

Yet, now, the reality has cooled a bit. I'm still aghast at the results of the race, but I have accepted the reality. It is as if I have lost a foot but learned to walk without it, so the loss is not so great anymore. Occasionally, during the day, I am reminded of its absence, but it passes through me as accepted regret. I cannot change it, so I must live with it.

I pay too much attention to politics at the national level, but which I mean I pay the amount of attention anyone should. The federal government affects our freedoms and determines how well or poorly we live to a good degree. The more power a government has, the more it has to use. So my goal is government doing the most good. For that reason, I am a Democrat, sometimes as a partisan, sometimes as a person who has no place else to go, since every other choice is worse.

When this election began brewing (about four years ago), I dreaded it at this point. I did not want an election pitting another Bush against another Clinton. I despise dynasties. As an American and a small-r republican, I despise monarchies and the idea that blood must determine destiny. I hated the idea of another Clinton (even though not by blood) as much as another Bush. The country must grow and extend itself, so it had to allow new voices.

What we had during the interminable election season instead was something richer characters but emptier in fact. The Republicans put forth a parade of people, none of whom I could vote for (maybe Lindsey Graham in a pinch). Trump was such a cartoon, such a moral morass, and such a thoughtless (in all conceptions of the word) person that I never thought the Republicans would elect him. At first. The Democrats put forth the pre-selected Hillary Clinton, the unexpected Bernie Sanders, and two others who lasted until debates began. 

In the end, the two people who vied against each other were both the least and the most prepared to be president. 

Trump was clearly least prepared. He was probably the only major party candidate for president less prepared to be president that I was. His understanding of the basic operations of government was skimpy at best, and his lack of depth--his almost total lack of rational thinking--was breathtaking. Not to say anything about his total lack of respect for the concept of the truth. His character was without equal. I have never voted for a Republican for president, but I was always impressed by the preparedness of most the eventual Republican presidents. G.W. Bush was an exception, but he was immensely prepared compared to Trump. What was worse, though, was his puerile temperament. Here was a man who would attack anyone he didn't like rashly, viciously, vulgarly, and yet he would whine incessantly if anyone criticized any of his stupidities or prevarications.

Clinton (whose Rodham I will always miss) was probably the n
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* Informally, because the Electoral College makes the final decision in our strange system. Also, I do realize the election was not called until the next day, but it was essentially a foregone conclusion and all of the voting occurred during this day one week ago.

ecr. l'inf.