WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Enticing Readers into Your Opening Scene

Critique by Maria D'Marco

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Four

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through July 31.

This week’s questions:

1. What are the shortcomings that are in most need of correction?

2. Would this beginning entice the reader enough to continue with the story?

Market/Genre: Short Story

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com