Staying True

Do you want to know a reason why coaches, authors, companies, teachers, and even parents often fail to get their message across? They cheapen it; they sacrifice; they play to their audience. It's extremely common for us to look to the outside world in order to gauge our next move. And when we do, our message always gets muddled.

As an illustration, these days it's standard for writers to create a catchy title for an article or blog post. The title is meant to draw the audience in—no matter if it truly describes the article's content or not. Likewise, many parents and coaches preach clean living to their teenagers or players, only to do the exact opposite behind closed doors.

Now right off, my point is not that you shouldn't act this way; that's up to you. This article is about why disingenuousness occurs, why this type of behavior spells trouble, and what you must know to avoid succumbing to the temptation.

Why do we look for the easy way out? We buy into our insecure, while innocent, thoughts.

Let's be frank, at times, we all look for shortcuts. Why? Because we all get stuck in our own heads and think insecure thoughts. The editor at a magazine company, for example, yearns to sell magazines. But that noble desire, coupled with bound-up thinking, creates the urge to do whatever is possible to generate immediate sales. Thus, the sensational and inaccurate title is born, and permanent success becomes impossible. The same goes for two-faced parents and coaches. They encourage their children or players to "look before they leap," and then don't follow this advice in their personal lives. How long, do you think, before their words get tuned out?

Now, what might surprise you is that, in most cases, the magazine reader, teenager, or athlete won't even notice the inconsistency I just introduced. They'll read the article without grasping that its title doesn't fit, or they'll have no clue about their parents' or coaches' real conduct. So, then, why does staying true even matter?

Staying true matters because we create and then project success from inside of us toward those we address; external perceptions are powerless. The person who preaches an insincere message—a message born from insecurity, ego, or the judgment of others—will fail to draw in listeners on a steady basis. If during one of my speeches, for instance, I make statements that aren't true to me, or don't come from a love for my audience, I will not have a positive and lasting impact. The audience will tune into my hypocrisy, no connection will be formed between us, and even my most educated words will get lost.    

If your message isn't genuine you might find short-term gains, but in the long run you're headed for trouble.

So, here's my sincere and simple message about staying true: If a thought about doing or saying something feels off, then I guarantee you will not feel better if you carry that thought to fruition. Like the editor, parents, or coaches above, every insincere behavior—and resulting mistake—you or I have ever made is the result of only one thing: Acting when our sentiments were telling us: "You know better!"

Remember, just because you have a thought doesn't mean that it's true. In fact, the thought itself means nothing. To avoid hypocritical behavior and allow yourself to find long-term excellence and success, follow your feelings. They, on the other hand, are foolproof.