F9 is… certainly something.

I feel like F9 effed nine of my IQ points.

The interaction I’ve had with this franchise has been minimal at most. I saw the second half of 2 Fast 2 Furious when I was fifteen. I rode the F&F rides at Universal Studios. I’ve seen the trailers for each movie, but never ventured to see it myself because frankly, I thought the movies looked pretty stupid.

And you know what? I was absolutely right.

Look, I understand no one should take these movies too seriously. They’re bombastic, huge… bas...